King of Nothing

IV

I had ended up showering. Truth be told, I hated the way I smelled, as well.

Then I shut myself in my room, still wearing the clothes that I had come here in. I didn't care to go back downstairs and ask for more clothes. That would be petty, and just what he wanted. I refused to allow myself to fall victim to the mating bond between us. I had to admit, it was hard.

Just knowing that he was somewhere in this house was enough the make my wolf giddy. Every little noise or scent had her going wild, trying to push me from where I had glued myself to my bed. She desperately wanted to go downstairs and egg him into something.

I shook the thought away, scowling. "Such a freaking animal," I grumbled, to which I heard a small purr from her in response. I blushed as images began to dot my imagination, and snapped at her to stop at once. She was very clearly upset that I didn't want anything to do with the outrageously attractive male-

"Stop!" I ordered her again, burying my face in my bedding. "This is. . . You're so. . ." I shook my head, letting out an aggravated sigh. A small whine echoed throughout my head and a dull ache spread about my body, making me groan and fold in on myself in annoyance. This was the physical backlash I was getting.

Once two wolves had found their bond mates, the usual response to combat this would be to spend as much time with each other as possible, and do. . . other things. The fact that I was rejecting every primal urge in my body was not only disrupting the natural cycle of things but upsetting my wolf. But even as she tried to coax me into it, I refused to budge.

The light pain I had felt got so bad that I realized that my body had begun to shake. Inside my head, everything was screaming at me to get up and go downstairs. I forced myself to my feet, control slipping through my fingers like water. I had to keep myself from shifting, God only knew what I would end up doing if my inner wolf was allowed to do as she pleased.

My door opened soundlessly and I again stepped into the hallway. It was dim, soaking up the light of the setting sun.

I found myself stumbling down the stairs suddenly, and shook my head. "No, no! What are you doing?" I hissed to myself. But my body would not stop. It kept going, shaky and wobbling all the way down. Joshua's scent was everywhere, but I was again headed for the kitchen. When we rounded the corner into the great space, my mate was clearly not there.

I forced myself inside and to the sink. I looked around momentarily before yanking open a cupboard and finding a glass within. Having obtained it, I filled it with water and drank it greedily. The cool drink left me momentarily relief, but it didn't quite numb the burning sensation.

Bracing myself against the sink with white knuckles, I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to breathe, focusing on that shadowed little happy place in my mind. My fists tightened impossibly on the counter's edge, my breathing labored. Why? Why me? I had never wanted a mate, and there were plenty of wolves who never got mates. They were always the ones who wanted one.

And yet I was stuck with the worst of them, and I didn't want to be. I didn't know I had begun crying until my eyes snapped open, and my vision swam. Warmth bloomed through me, a cleansing fire banishing everything, burning the shadows and pain away. A shuddering sigh left me, and my shoulders drooped.

Until I realized why I was alright.

Joshua tugged me back into him, arms wrapping tightly around my waist. His face was buried in the crook of my neck, warm and soothing. A sigh of his own loosed, billowing against my skin.

"You're such a stubborn little brat," he murmured, pain ebbing from his voice. "You aren't the only fucking one of us who feels that you know."

An awkward noise escaped me. I was about to let myself drown in his comfort when clarity snapped back to me, and I pulled away from him suddenly. It was like ripping off an almost healed scab, and I gasped in shock and pain. "Then maybe you shouldn't have come into my life," I heaved out, exasperated. "I don't want to be here. I don't want to be with you. I don't want this."

"Aella-"

"Don't!" I yelled, shaking my head as I backed away. I swiped at the tears on my cheeks, still shaking my head. "Don't say my name. I just want to go home."

"You mean prison?" he snapped, anger evident in his tone. "How many years have you been kept there as a trophy? How many years since they killed your parents?"

"Shut up!" I cried out, sounding like a child.

I felt his hands seize me by the shoulders, and had just snapped my head up to snap something nasty at him when I saw his smoldering glare. "Those mutts killed your family," he snarled in my face angrily. "I would have thought you might want revenge, especially for being forced to marry that prick Hunter, but I guess I was wrong." Joshua's eyes went cold as he let go of me, his lip curling in a nasty snarl. "You're nothing but a sniveling little dog."

As he turned away, I grabbed him with an iron grip, snarling, "Don't you dare run away after saying that." He looked over his shoulder, something like victory glimmering inside of his eyes. he had goaded me into this, but I didn't care. The time to be upset was over now. I was livid. "I've wanted nothing but to sink my teeth into them for years, so don't you dare presume to call me sniveling little dog, you dethroned alpha-hole."

"Dethroned because of a traitor," he growled lowly, easily pulling himself free of my grip before he turned once more to face me fully. I had forgotten that, once not to long ago, this man was the king of the two-hundred or so wolves in America, and I think I had just pissed him off. Joshua stepped close enough that one huge intake of air would have our chests touching, and leaned down slightly to look me in the eyes. "I intend to take back my place, and I intend to give you yours if you'll stop acting like I'm the worst thing that ever happened to you."