Wave of Fires

Chapter Three

Fireside, Day 143 A.F

Warm hands brushed my cheek, nudging me from a restless sleep. I pressed my eyes shut, anything to recapture my dream of Cyprian. It wasn't his gentle touch that woke me, but the roar of a brilliant fire. Gabriel must have managed to set a flame. But the angel was nowhere to be seen. Neither was Lotan.

Tybira coaxed a few berries down Enki's throat, casting nervous glances towards Death.

I knew I couldn't blame her; she was just looking out for Enki's best interest. Just like I thought only of Cyp's. It wasn't fair that we couldn't protect both men at the same time, but she'd always choose Enki, and I'd always choose Cyp.

Even if it meant dealing with Death.

It was a miracle he hadn't killed us yet. But he remained on his stone, his satchel at his feet and a book in his hands. He seemed utterly uninterested in us, absorbed in his reading. His brow furrowed in concentration.

A gust of wind sent me scooting closer to the fire, letting the flames cast a glow across my glyphs. As I repositioned, a dark shadow sped above me.

In flew Gabriel, Lotan cradled in his arms. I didn't think I'd ever seen the human smile like that. Gabriel landed gracefully, and Lotan unwound his arms from his neck. After a murmured word, Lotan trotted towards Enki and Tybira, and Gabriel strolled towards me. "We went on a quick surveillance flight. No sign of trouble, but I still think Fortune is nearby."

And why was he telling me this? I frowned. "What do you want?"

He studied my face, perhaps searching for traces of Lady Lotus. Finally, Gabriel sat down, his wings stretched out behind him. "I'd like to make peace."

"Help me save Cyprian," I replied. "I can't do that if you kill Death."

Gabriel sighed. "Empress, I respect you quite a lot... so I expect you to understand why I made the decision I did."

"You're betraying Cyp."

He grimaced. "But I'm honoring Lotan. I'm doing all I can for The Hanged Man by staying with you, but I can't put Lotan in more danger."

"If you're willing to toss him aside, why bother to stay?" I grumbled.

"I'm not tossing him aside, Empress, but I need to prioritize Lotan. It's no different than your prioritizing the Hanged Man."

"I know he's your friend, but Cyprian is the love of my life."

He rubbed his forehead. "Empress I want you to understand that I wanted to side with you. It's just... it's the same. The same as you and the Hanged Man."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean that I love Lotan the same way you love the Hanged Man. I need to do what's best for him."

I looked at Gabriel, then Lotan, then Gabriel again. His wings fluttered in my silence, obviously uncomfortable, like he was a breath from flying away. In away, I'd known. I'd even envied their relationship. They shared a sort of ancient trust, an unspoken language, a seamless intimacy. I gave Gabriel a smile. "You and Lotan then?"

With a breathy laugh, he ran a hand through his hair. I couldn't tell if he appreciated my referring to him and Lotan as a unit. "Gods, no. He would never. And it would just ruin what we have if he knew. Besides, it's better if he doesn't know."

"Why?" I furrowed my brow.

"I'm already being selfish with him. It's too dangerous for him to be anywhere near the Game, but that would mean sending him away from me. We're all doomed to this, but he isn't. He can escape it, but I'm not letting him. He's already been tortured because the Lovers knew what he means to me. If I deserved him in the first place, I'd be able to send him away from the Game, even if that meant letting him go." So many reasons. I could tell he'd gone through every painful reason his feelings were wrong, had argued constantly with himself.