"I made my way through the busy market, carrying a bag of vegetables.
The Sunday market! I thought and smiled.
Suddenly, I froze in my spot. It was him, my high school bully. There was a lady next to him, both carrying shopping bags. He had spotted me and then brought on his signature smirk and cheesy look. They walked past me. Who was she? What surprised me more was his audacity to touch the spot between my legs. I was taken aback.
Memories of that dark night flashed in front of my eyes. It was ten years ago, five days after my thirteenth birthday.
I had known him for a while as my best friend's brother. His bullying started off with casual teasing, tugging at my skirt and throwing stuff along with some nonsensical banter here and there.
One evening, with sweaty hands, I approached my mom while she was cooking in the kitchen. This was the perfect moment to speak to her, before dad comes home from work. Dad would not entertain my whining. Slowly I moved over to my mom, gave her a peck on the cheeks. I told her about him and his relentless teasing. She just smiled and chided me a little for over reacting on such silly matters. She believed that he was treating me like a sister, and teasing was common among siblings, so I needed to calm down a bit and stop over thinking on such silly matters. Dejected I locked myself in my room, feeling numb.
Soon, the casual teasing escalated to nasty comments that were made when I stumbled upon him in the empty hallways of the school. He was pretty decent in front of others especially infront of his sister. But whenever he got a chance to be alone with me, his nastiness came out like a hidden beast.
Soon came the night of an annual day function.
I heard his footsteps behind me. No electricity, taking advantage of the darkness I slipped inside the girl's restroom. But there was something in his strong will, his will to conquer and control me, he finally found me. He kicked open the door.
He was fast to pin me down. The roaring loudspeakers calmed my shrieks.
He removed my jacket, taking it slow. He was enjoying it, taking my screams slowly into his mouth.
He caught hold of the elastic straps of my dress, pulled it and then left it. The straps hit my bare skin, I winced.
" Painful is it ? " he smirked. " let me take it off then."
He was about to proceed further when we heard footsteps. He ran and hid into an adjacent classroom. I adjusted my dress. My mother came in. She could sense that something was wrong. But I declined all her queries, I chose silence that day.
It was officially his last day in school. He passed out and I knew nothing about his whereabouts.
I could have told someone. Why did I choose silence?
Even if it was wrong on his part, I was ashamed, I was the one hiding.
The horrors of that night haunted me for months. I feared confessing to anyone, kept it a secret even from my mother. I never wanted to make them sad, but mostly felt a sense of shame. Why was I being ashamed when it was no fault of mine.
Days turned into months and haunting dreams sucked the life force out of me. Until, I met sister Lucy. Sister Lucy came to our school to provide counseling to students during exams.
Why did I hide? Was it because at that age, I did not understand his actions completely. Or was it because he was my best friend's brother.
I kept convincing myself that he did not undress me completely or at least did not rape me. Why did I think so?
I saw him in the market, it made me regret my silence. It was he who should hide and fear. His sister was not safe, the girl with him was not safe.No one around him was safe. No more, I thought.
That day I made my mind to speak out and also voice the anguish of a generation of girls like me. and that is how I started the " NO SILENCE, OVER VIOLENCE" mission.
ANY SMALL INSTANCE OF BULLYING IS BULLYING. DO NOT NEGLECT IT.
Thank you ."
The auditorium roared with applause. That's how my first TED talk went by.
(497 words)
READERS, THIS IS AN INTENSE TOPIC TO TALK ABOUT. I HAVE NOT DESCRIBED THE ABUSE EXPLICITLY BECAUSE I WANT TO MAKE IT READABLE FOR ALL. SO READ BETWEEN THE LINES.
Also, I DO NOT WISH TO GLORIFY THE CRIME, I ONLY WANT TO BRING IT TO LIGHT.
- Aswati
