Fyodor x Reader

Forgive Me

AN: In this story, reader is an old college friend of Fyodor. Warning: angst ahead.

Every 15th of the month, you and Fyodor would make arrangements to have dinner together and catch up with each other. 2 years had passed since you graduated from college together, you were quite busy with your job as a teacher and Fyodor was often out of the country for his work. This meant the two of you couldn't spend as much time together as you used to, but you were still as close as you were during your college days. To this day, you still didn't know what exactly his job was that required frequent travelling, but it warmed your heart that he made time to see you every month in spite of how busy he must be. 

You couldn't help but smile as you recalled your time as students together. You were an English major, while Fyodor was studying Philosophy. Even though you were in different programs, you had a few elective classes together where you got to know each other. One day he accidentally left his personal philosophy notes behind and, as you went looking to return them to him, you found yourself impressed by what you had read. For someone who seemed cold and aloof, he was very committed to uncovering the truth of the universe and making the world a better place. When you expressed interest in his ideas, Fyodor reluctantly opened up to you. 

Ever since then the two of you were inseparable. You'd spend your free time eating together, studying together, playing chess together, or just engaged in deep conversation and helping each other flesh out ideas. Your impression of him changed from cold, to an unspeakably kind and intelligent man who worked day and night hoping his ideas would change the world for the better. It wasn't long before your deep admiration and respect for Fyodor blossomed into feelings of love. However, you weren't sure if he felt the same way, so you figured it would be better to keep quiet.

If only you knew of the darkness lurking beneath the surface, you wouldn't be mentally kicking yourself now for having ever loved him.

As you were preparing to leave the house and meet up with Fyodor, your attention was drawn to the breaking news on the TV that interrupted the show you had on. You were completely flabbergasted by the headline:

"Serial murderer possibly hiding out in Russia. Civilians are to exercise extreme caution when going out."

And next to the anchorman, was a somewhat blurry picture of your old friend and the man you loved, Fyodor.

"No way....this has to be a joke, right?"

You listened as the anchorman began to list off what they know about this murderous Fyodor lookalike.

"The suspect is guilty of leading a criminal organization in Japan, and is responsible for the slayings of at least 300 civilians from Yokohama, in which women and children are among the deceased. The Russian government is being asked to cooperate in apprehending this mass murderer who is believed to have fled to either Moscow or Saint Petersburg."

Your heart dropped. Fyodor had just left Japan to meet you here in Moscow, and that portrait though unclear, had a striking resemblance to Fyodor, your Fyodor. You didn't want to believe it. There was still some time before you were supposed to meet up, but you couldn't bear to wait any longer to get the truth. Not even bothering to turn off the TV, you begin to rush out of the house when you bump into Fyodor himself, hand poised to knock on your door. He looked just as startled by your sudden appearance as you felt about the possibility of him being an international criminal. Time seemed to stand still as the two of you simply stared at each other, trying to gauge what the other is thinking. Finally, Fyodor broke the silence.

"(Y/N)....we need to talk."

Your blood turned to ice, you could already tell this was not going to end happily. With a downcast expression, you hesitantly let him into your home as neither of you were fond of chatting in the cold. Fyodor gave a small smile as he made his way to your living room. You winced at the gesture as you followed, shutting the door behind you. In the living room, both of you noticed the TV you had left on, and the news story featuring the "mass murderer" was still going. Panicking, you grabbed the remote with lightning speed and switched it off.

Now, there was eerie silence.

Fighting back tears, you manage to choke out "Hey, that news report on the TV.....they weren't talking about you right?"

You heard Fyodor's breath hitch as you continued. "It's just a misunderstanding. isn't it?" You wiped at the tears that began to leak out as you questioned your friend, silently begging for him to tell you it's all just a mistake.

"It's no misunderstanding." Fyodor answered coolly. You felt your heart shatter into a thousand pieces.

"Not a misunderstanding? Don't give me that crap!" you yelled angrily at him, the hurt evident in your voice. "They're saying you've killed hundreds of innocent people, Fedya. They're calling you a demon! How can that not be a misunderstanding??" The tears were pouring down now.

"It's the truth. I killed those people. I am the leader of a criminal organization, that is the 'work' I told you that I leave the country for." he stated this with such detachment you'd think he were talking about the weather.

Furious, you slapped him hard across the face.

"How could you do such a horrible thing??? What happened to the intelligent, kind, honest man I knew and loved?" You fell to your knees and started sobbing. "I--I wish I never met you!"

"(Y/N)...." With a solemn expression, Fyodor knelt down beside you and hugged you to his chest. Your heart was practically on fire. How could he touch you like you were a precious treasure, with hands that have taken the lives of so many?

"Let go! Don't touch me!" you screamed at the top of your lungs, trying to push him away from you, but Fyodor's grip only tightened. He didn't say a word as you sobbed, yelled, and hit him. He just held you, until you finally passed out from screaming and crying. Once you were out, Fyodor picked you up and gently placed you on the couch.

"Forgive me, (Y/N). Once my ideal world comes to pass, you won't have to suffer ever again."

Those were the only words uttered as Fyodor disappeared into the darkness of night.