Find Me Where I Saw You Last

"Watch how they flow through the water."

It was a regular morning from what I remember. My mom helped me into the car, and chose the scenic drive that we liked so much, heading to the aquarium. It was a few days before my ninth birthday.  Instead of getting trapped by the commercial buildings and heavy traffic that floods Main Street, we opted for regal trees and lush greenery. My mother asked if I was excited. My bursting smile answered her rather quickly.

My mother seemed to drive slower as we neared the highway. Cars passed us, and the abrasive drivers occasionally honked their horns. I gazed up at my mom. She had troubled eyes, but it was a sadness that came from substantial loss, not the frustration of dealing with rude drivers or long drives.

"Mom, are you sad? " I asked.

"No, sweetie, I'm okay. Just a bit tired."

I knew it was something else, but she was such a sensible woman and would always tell me when she was bothered or troubled. I'd never seen her sad like this. 

I  brushed it off for the time being. I didn't want to cause my mother to worry because I know she enjoyed the aquarium as much as I did.

We made our way to the lobby and immediately got swallowed up by the morning crowds. We considered other options to see first. Mom loved the stingrays, and I loved the tropical animals. Both were in the same area, so we wandered in that direction. Our early arrival meant we could enjoy all the exhibits thoroughly without having to peer over others' shoulders. 

Mom smiled down at me every time she saw my face light up. She held my hand gently as we made our way deeper into each exhibit.

She reached her free hand into the water and gently glided two fingers across the back of the stingray, petting it like it was her beloved pet. Her smile grew wide. When she looked over at me, I could see her eyes had become teary.

"I always love touching the stingrays, " she said, like it was a life-changing experience.

"You look sad again, Mom." I gripped her forearm, and she gripped my hand, leaning down to kiss it.

She wiped her tears, and her eyes glowed. "It makes me happy to be here with you. We don't do this enough." She seemed happy despite her expression.

"Maybe we can come back next weekend?" I bounced on my toes hopefully.

"Let's see how today goes first. " She gripped my hand again and guided me to the next exhibit. "I know a special boy who wants to see the frogs."

We stayed in the frog exhibit for a while. Some of them were hiding in the back, so we took the time to look for them all. Mom read the information on the side of their habitat out to me. Her smile was brighter, and the sadness I saw before was gone. We were enthralled by the animals and, more importantly, our annual trip.

"I don't know about you, but I think I need some lunch, " Mom said, rubbing her stomach with a smile on her face. "We've been here for a few hours already."

"Yeah, I'm hungry too. I want a cheeseburger! " Mom smiled at me.

She smiled at me. "Whatever you'd like, sweetie." 

In the café, Mom grabbed the food from the heat shoot while I snagged a few bottled drinks. I pulled a pudding from the cooler and placed it on the tray. She chuckled. After she paid, we sat n at a small table. The only other person in the café was an older man. Screaming children raced through the exhibits while we quietly enjoyed our early lunch.

I tore into my food, but Mom ate more slowly.  I swore I saw that troubled face come back for several moments, but I tried my best to ignore it. She was smiling at me like she was happy to be with me, and I believed it.