~•~•~Scars~•~•~ [STENBROUGH]

[4]

[honestly just except this whole book to be a trigger warning]

[11/19/19.. 10:45am]

Stan pulled into the driveway of the Denbrough residence and picked up his phone lazily. He glanced at the screen and noticed a notification covering the background of him looking down as Bill was blurred as he fell. There was a text from Patty:

✰✰Patty✰✰

Hey Love, I just
Wanted to text you and remind
You that I love youuuuu!❤️

Stan grimaced, then pocketed his phone and walked to the door. He didn't even bother knocking, he just walked in and hung his coat on the rack. "Hey Georgie! Is Bill in his room?" Stan asked the smaller boy who was munching on a sandwich. Georgie nodded, so Stan walked up the stairs and opened Bill's door.

"Oh shit!" Stan mumbled, seeing Bill half naked, midway through pulling his shirt off with only boxers on. "Fuh-fuck Stan! Wuh-wuh-what happened to knocking!?" Bill cried pulled his shirt back down. "When have I ever knocked!?" Stan groaned, walking in and throwing himself face down onto the new covers on Bill's bed.

Bill pulled on his sweatpants and changed into a long sleeved sweater. He laid down next to Stan and looked over at him. He watched as Stan turned onto his back and stared at the ceiling. He observed the curls that fell loosely in front of his eyes and how his eyelashes curl slightly against his cheeks. And how his lips rest naturally in a soft smile, and how his cheeks have a few little freckles flecked around.

Stan's eyes fluttered open when his phone chimed. Bill looked down at the phone and grabbed it for him. He glanced at it as he handed it to the curly haired boy, and his heart dropped. They said 'I love you'? Already? Shit. I was too late.

Stan took it and glanced at the message. It had just re-chimed because he didn't open it. Stan sat up and sighed. "Alright Billy, lets change your bandages already." Stan grinned, pulling Bill into a sitting position. Bill nodded slowly, his mind clouded with thoughts. Stan pulled the kit the doctors gave them into his lap and gently rolled up Bill's sleeves. He peeled the other bandages off and looked at the wounds cautiously.

He sucked in a breath at the sight of the cuts lined across his best friend's wrists. He gently traced his hands across the wounds as tears filled up in his eyes. Bill snapped out of his daze and looked at Stan as tears fell from his dark eyes. "Woah woah Stanny what's wrong?" Bill asked, pushing his hands to wipe away the tears escaping his eyes. He realized his bandages were off and noticed Stan's hands frozen. Stan looked up from Bill's lap and his dark eyes met Bill's light eyes.

"Nothing.." he breathed out, then pulled Bill's wrists back down and gently cleaned the wounds. He was silent and harsh, but careful. He applied an ointment the doctors prescribed, then wrapped new bandages around his wrists. He put all of the supplies back into the kit and then slammed it close and stood up forcefully. He threw away the bandages then placed the kit on Bill's desk.

He turned away from Bill as he felt his hands shaking. "Fuck" he mumbled, leaning against the door. His breathing quickened and Bill glanced over with worry. "Stan?" He asked, waiting for a response. There was no response. "Stan?" He asked again, standing up and pulling his sleeves down. Stan leaned against the door and felt tears rush out of his eyes as his breathing quickened and his hold on reality slipped. Bill gently placed his hand on Stan's shoulder.

Stan flinched and pulled away. "Don't- Don't touch me!" He cried, whipping around to face him, but stumbled and almost fell but Bill grabbed his hand and pulled him back up. Bill pulled him to his bed and let him collapse into a ball as he sobbed. Bill kept his distance, not wanting to suffocate him. Stan clutched onto the blankets and gasped for air.

Bill watched as he sobbed and hyperventilated, then furrowed his eyebrows when Stan started scratching his wrists with his nails. "Fuck Stan!" Bill breathed, then grabbed his wrists and pulled him onto his lap. Stan sobbed and clutched at Bill's shirt. Bill lowered his hands to gently wipe away the tears that were falling from the curly haired boy's eyes. Stan opened his eyes. "Please" he said weakly, moving his hand to rest against Bill's cheek. "Please don't do it again." He added, tears falling slower. Bill nodded, "I won't. I won't." Stan nodded, his mind clouded, and he wasn't thinking straight like normal.

He sat up and faced Bill, tension was growing between them. Stan's hands stayed on Bill's cheeks and Bill's face flushed. "Stuh-stan you oh-okay?" He asked, wiping away the access tears on Stan's face. Stan stared silently, then pushed himself forwards and caught Bill's lips on his.

Bill blinked, and his cheeks burned. As much as he wanted to pull Stan closer, he knew he couldn't. So he pulled away. Stan blinked as they pulled apart and his eyes widened. Bill stared at him with his mouth parted. Their faces were inches apart, and then both longed to be closer but the couldn't. They were both silent, until Stan shoved himself off of the bed and grabbed his phone. Tears filled his eyes as he threw open Bill's door and rushed down the stairs. "Stanny? Are you okay?" Georgie asked from the kitchen. Stan ignored the question and walked out the door, completely forgetting his coat.

Bill sat on his bed, tears falling down his eyes and he looked down at his wrists.

"Why.. why couldn't it have fucking worked.."

[11:36am]

Stan pulled into his own driveway and threw himself into his room. He pulled at his curls and sobbed. He was angry, he was so fucking angry.

"What the fuck is wrong with me!?" He cried, slamming his fist onto his desk. A sharp pain flew through his fist and he recoiled, then looked down to see the glass locket Patty had given him for their one month anniversary, smashed. His eyes widened and he looked down at the blood seeping out of his cuts.

"Shit! Shit oh no!" He whined, then ran out of his room and into the bathroom. He ran the tap and let the water run over his hand and the wounds. He glanced and made sure there was no glass, then wrapped it in a bandage and walked back into his room.

He glanced at his phone which he had thrown onto his bed and saw a missed call from Bill, a missed call from Beverly, and a missed call from Patty. He grabbed his phone and clicked the name he needed most.

"Bev.. Bev I fucked up."