The city was all lighted up. People were going home from their day-time jobs, happily going back to their familier. It was afternoon, on a sunny day of spring. Everyone was happy, the atmosphere was bright. Everyone apart from the boy on the last floor of the hotel. The boy who seemed to be the only one person not allowed to be happy. For him, it was dark.
The blue-eyed boy was reading a letter. A letter that changed his life forever. In his mom's beautiful handwriting, it was written on the piece of paper a story. It was about a two year old orphan, who just got adopted. He lived a happy life, until his mom was diagnosed with blood cancer. Leukemia.
Down on the page, it was written: "don't wait for me at home, I'll be gone for a long time. I love you baby boy, stay happy, for me. I'm so proud of you, keep that in mind. Goodbye". Louis was re-reading the letter again and again and again. His mom was gone. She was dead. She wasn't moving, breathing, living anymore. His support was gone.
As his tears were rolling down, he wondered if he is ever going to be good enough. He knew he was loved. He had his mother and his boy, Harry. Now that his mother was gone he felt useless.
Cut.
No
Cut, it will feel good.
No
No one would miss you anyways.
The last sentence woke up something inside Louis. He had been clean for so long, but the razor on his bathroom sink was so tempting. We craved for the pain that went though all his body and for the small blood drops on his pale wrist.
He put the letter down, and rolled his sleeves up. Looking at his old cuts, the healed cuts, he thought of Harry. The curly boy who he loved oh so much. He was there for him everyday, at every hour. He hugged Louis when he was feeling lost and he was there when Louis went clean for the first time. It was him who managed to keep Louis sane for this long. But he wasn't here now. It was just Louis and his thoughs. The taller boy was out buying some chocolate. They were supposed to have a movie night, when Louis received the letter.
How did she even keep her ilness away from me? thought Louis as he went to the bathroom to take a shower.
Only if he ended up just taking a shower...
***
In the city, Harry was just talking to a small child and her mom.
"....so yeah, you should do that and her hair will be detangled really easy" said Harry smiling.
Honestly, no one asked him anything but the boy saw a curly headed girl and he offered her help. That's just how he was.
Saying goodbye, he took his purse, which he liked to call a "man bag", and headed to the hotel room he was sharing with his boyfriend. They were in the middle of touring.
Opening the hotel door, he yelled for his 5'6 boyfriend.
"Looooooooooou, where are you? Haha that rhimed, saw what I did there?" yelled laughing the curly lad.
He didn't get any response, which worried him. Louis would usually come and greet him, or at least yell hello. He saw the letter threw next to the bed and picked it up. Reading it, his eyes got wet and his heart began aching for his poor baby. He saw the bathroom lights on so he went there.
He was greeted with a painfull view in the bathroom. Louis was sat next to the sink, his knees up to his chin as he was sobbing his poor eyes out. He was also staying next to blood, which worried Harry a lot.
"Oh baby, don't". Harry gathered the small crying figure into his arms and sat on the ground with Louis keeping his head in his chest.
Harry didn't know how to act. It was so sudden and so unexpected, but he was going to be there for his baby.
As minutes passed by, Louis started to feel numb. He was out of tears and he was feelimg rather tired. Harry saw that his eyes were about to close so he kissed his boyfriends temple and said
"let's get you all cleaned up, alright petal?"
He didn't get a verbal answer but he took it as a yes.
The taller boy stood up and put Louis on the toilet. He grabbed some cotton pads and some desinfectant and began to clean the freshly made cuts. As Louis winced fdom the stinging feeling, Harry kissed his forehead and wispered
"It's ok, we'll get through this"
That's what the blue eyed boy loved about him
He never refeared to louis as "him", but as "them". He felt so protected when Harry said that.
Tears were brought to his face again, but it was a silent cry. The tall boy took him in his arms as soon as he finished cleaning the cuts, and took him out of the bathroom. He sat both himself and Lou on the bed and then got up to close the lights.
As he went back to he bed, he saw Louis's small figure curled up in a ball and sobbing quietly.
As the city was going dark, and the moon was setting in, the city was becoming numb. Harry took Louis in his arms and as he cuddled the now asleep boy, he hoped that his boy would get past his loss and become happy.
