Fearless?

Fearless? - Chapter Thirty-Five

‘I was afraid as child. I was afraid of everything. I was scared of water - I couldn’t swim - I was scared of trucks on the turnpike, and mostly I was scared of ghosts. But at some point, I realised something. A ghost is something you create yourself - a man’s mind makes it happen. If there was nobody on Earth, would a ghost still have a chance to spook somebody? No. You manifest ghosts through fear,’ 

- Unknown

Chapter Thirty-Five

Azelie didn’t feel tired. No, as she walked through the corridors, trying to make her way to the canteen she felt worse that tired. She was dizzy, her head was killing her. It had been a miracle she had made it through maths without killing the gossiping blonde who sat next to her. She had one of those high pitched voices that you couldn’t ignore, no matter how much you tried.

After everything she had figured out last night, it was no surprise that she didn’t sleep! She was in love with Cole, even just thinking it to herself cause Azelie to shiver from the idea of love. Love was nothing to her but darkness. She never had the happiness that followed love, it was just dark and death. That was all that came of Azelie loving.

She had loved Haley, her parents. She had learned to love her aunts, their husband. They had all died. And Ted. He almost died, if she had been a few minutes later, it was unlikely that he would be alive today. Ted was just a lucky miss; Cole... he would be different

The idea of Cole in danger made Azelie want to vomit there and then. She couldn’t handle the idea of him in pain because of her, she already had everybody’s else name on her lift. She couldn’t add an eighth. She couldn’t add Cole. 

Azelie stumbled into the canteen, her eyes gazing around the busy room searching for her friends, guilt consuming her as she spotted Cole. God, why did she have to fall for him? He didn’t love her back, that much was clear - hell, to him they were just friends and as much as that killed her to admit, it was the truth. Who would love her? She was messed up; scarred. Cole wasn’t, and he needed someone like that; not somebody broken. 

She sat down on one of the chairs, choosing a seat opposite Cole, making sure she left two seats together for Kelly and Alex, who weren’t at the table. It was just Azelie and Cole. Alone. Azelie using all of her energy to fight the growing need to look up at the boy opposite her. She leaned her head on to the table, before slowly closing her eyes. The throbbing pain in her head instantly soothing slightly as she did. 

“What’s wrong?” a voice questioned. Azelie’s eyes flickered open as she turned her head slightly to look at Cole, his green eyes full of concern.

“Nothing, just the usual nightmares,” Azelie replied, the memories of her nightmares resurfacing in her mind. She tried to ignored them but she found it almost impossible. She had dreamt so much about Cole dying that it had become a usual thing to pop in her memory. The most recent one had been in the car that her parents had died in. The memory would start and end the same way, with a truck crashing into the car, but with a few differences. Instead of her parents in the car, it was Cole, and she wasn’t a child.

“Azelie,” He replied, raising an eyebrow at her, “I thought we were past this! Haven’t you learned that I know when you’re lying! What’s wrong?” He added. Azelie’s stomach grew heavy at the thought of telling him the truth. It was something she was not prepared to do.