waves; stylinson

epilogue

[ warning: this is the epilogue and it is very depressing and it may be triggering ]

--

louis;

tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock.

the clock was counting down the minutes until my final departure from this shit place called earth.

it's funny how life works. not in like a 'ha-ha' kind of way, no.

more like a 'huh, that happens here?' kind of way.

when you're little, you get this idea in your head of how life is supposed to be. 

you think that life is just going to be lollipops and rainbows, and you're going to have all the money in the world to buy the nicest and newest of things.

you think that you're going to find your soul mate when you're in your last few years of high school and get married after you attend college and land a spot in the perfect career.

but the thing is, life is not like that.

at all.

the truth is, your parents don't warn you about the real things that happen in life.

they don't warn you about the bullies, the poverty, or even about the heartbreak.

nope. they don't warn you about all of the bad things in life, just the good things. 

and sure, that may keep you happy for a short while, a very short while but once all of the happy thoughts are gone, you have what left?

the dark and depressing thoughts that are creeping and hanging around the back of your mind for the rest of your life?

the answer is yes.

that's exactly what you have left.

you may be thinking, "louis, why do you have to be so god-damn depressing?"

well you know what?

i'm just telling the truth.

the cold, hard, truth.

i gather up the notes that i have written to everyone in my life and stuff them in a wooden box labeled 'i'm sorry' and i place it on my kitchen table so no one has to search for it and make my way to my car.

the drive to the cliff is a long and agonized one and i wonder if i will go to hell or heaven.

probably hell for i am committing suicide and it is thought of to be a sin.

or the cowardly way out.

which i believe, actually.

i must be a sinner and a coward but i could not care less because i am finally escaping. 

i will finally be happy.

harry will finally have me out of his hair.

i pull up to the cliff and look down.

the air is cold and i feel like my skin is being attacked by many razor blades as i rid myself of all my clothes. this way, i will die faster.

once i am naked, i take one more look at the waves down below.

they are thrashing and calling my name.

"louis! louis! louis!" they call and i hear.

i take one step off the cliff and i am freely falling into the cold ocean.

"goodbye, harry." 

and then i am dead.

--

[ wow that was really hard for me to write ))): but comment if you would like me to post the letter (: ]