To be there for you.

Jamie

"Well Ms Burke it is indicating that the symptoms that Jasmine has been and still is presenting is been caused by schizophrenia. This is what is causing the hallucinations you have told me about and how the quality of her speech has decreased as well as how her trail of thoughts is jumping about from one with to the next without any organisation. I am going to suggest that we start treatment right away. I will prescribe her with antipsychotics which will block the D2 receptors which will decrease the positive symptoms which are the hallucinations and voices that she is hearing." I have been listening to this Doctor talking indirectly to me and explaining it all to my mum as if I was inadequate to process information myself which is just rude due to the fact I know exactly what he is talking about and I Know that every word he is saying is correct but so wrong in the case of me.

These "hallucinations" that he is talking about is wrong they aren't hallucinations and I have tried to tell that to everyone that thinks they are but no they will not listen to me as I am "ill" and unable to see clearly or be normal. The stupid doctor thinks that just because my mum has listed a loud of things that he has gone to tick of some things on a check list he is able to diagnosis me with some mental illness that does not apply to me if you can not tell already there is defiantly a fault in the system here.

While they carry on discussing my life and what needs to happen to help me get better and so on, I look around the room. It looks like those Doctor's offices that you see in all the movies with the big glass windows amd perfect white walls with posters of the body and the wall having a large bookcase up against holding hundreds of different books of varying in all sizes, ages and colours much like the world. I have never thought of that before people are like books to an extent all different colours and sizes and ages which filled with knowledge and imagination telling their story much like how we tell other people our story however I dare say that books live a much simpler life than humans they do not have to worry about wages and health though I guess fire could cause them a bit of damage if it gets too close...

"Jamie, Jamie darling are you okay can you hear the voices again?"

"No mum I was just being like another person in the world where they can have their own thoughts and drift off into them without someone thinking that they are insane."

"Jasmine! Loose that attitude right now I do not think you are insane and nobody else does for that matter."

"Yeah right, I bet she doesn't while she was just discussing feeding you drugs to stop you hearing me. I do not get what is so bad about me I am just as stuck as you are but nobody is trying to help me"

"Ah Lily just shut up for once of your life I am trying to prove point here of me not looking crazy but here you are getting all in my business again."

She just sat their next to shaking her head with the little innocent smile that would fool anybody but me. I know what she is doing she has done this before, most days actually but more often than not now that is making her a bit more noticeable which is why I am here now stuck in this stupid room.

The sudden movement of the door swinging open grabs my attention away from Lily onto the petite nurse that works in with a rectangular box that was given to the doctor he took out two of the small tablets with a cup of water. I knew already that I was meant to take these now and I did not do it then as soon as we leave my mum would shove them down my throat. The drugs were not going to work at all, and I knew this due to the fact I did not Schizophrenia, but no one wanted to believe this as I had already said.

After leaving the hospital I was heading back to school which there was no point to as I only had one lesson left in the day but my mum does not give it an thought that skipping was an option even when I used the argument that it would be better for my mental health.

It was the start of the lunch break as I got to school, and the corridors were crowed with the younger years pushing each other around thinking that they were funny but in reality, just annoying to everyone else. I made my way through the halls going in the opposite direction of everyone else as I headed towards the library rather than the dining hall but I knew Lily would have a seat saved for me once I got there she always gets everywhere quicker than I do probably because she had longer legs compared to my 5 foot height.

As everyone started barging pass me my head began to feel light, my throat drying up, blurred vision, gagging for oxygen as if I had just been punched in the gut.

This happened too often my head was growing heavy until it dragged me down onto the floor with a thud and entrapping me in the black hole I am unable to out run.