Life after Don Quixote

Setback for a Comeback

Want to start this chapter by saying how sad I am that Alina has stopped competing for the time being. She was a delight to watch, and I always expected watching her skating. Good luck, Alina!

"Stop leaning so much you look as if you're falling!" I hear Eteri yell from the boards.

Its been a few months and last season went well. I won Worlds. Which I honestly doubted that I would. Despite being an Olympic Champion, I would be lying to say I've been a consistent skater and that my technique is perfect. Eteri is constantly telling me things wrong with my technique. If it's not my edges it's my posture,  if not my posture it's my arms, if not my arms it's my jumps, if not my.... you get the point. I've read gossip saying that I'll retire soon. Which I have considered because I am so tired. I worked so hard for the Olympics but didn't take any time off after I won. I don't want to continue, really. Why should I? I've won everything there is to win. Eteri tells me to continue though and to push forward.

I love to skate and retiring sounds so.. permanent. I'm afraid that if I take a year off, I won't be able to come back. Today Sasha landed the triple axel she had been working so hard to achieve. It's hard to train in a rink with athletes who are younger, stonger, and much faster than me. I was watching Aliona earlier and was amazed at how fast she moved across the ice and was not out of breath at the end of her routine. If I take a year off there is no way I'll be able to comeback with the energy the sport now requires. The sport is getting younger and it's a reality that all of us skaters are having to face. 

I've noticed that since I've won World's Eteri has not been giving me the same attention she did before. I especially notice how her eyes beam with excitement when she watches Sasha or Anna land their Quads. Eteri did attempt one day that I should learn a quad flip. It's not going to work. All of these thoughts were running through my head as I attempted to practice my new Cleopatra program. I fell on almost all of my jumps and I know I didn't do the correct number of spins. I hesitantly look towards Eteri and Sergei as I skate towards the boards after the music ended.

"Alina that was bad," Eteri said bluntly, "I see.. I'm making the same remarks about you weak spots that I mention time and again."

I only nodded and glanced at Sergei who shared the same scowl of disapproval.

"You made so many mistakes," he said looking to Eteri who shook her head in approval.

"You are Olympic and World Champion now Alina, you can't continue to make mistakes like this," Eteri said turning to leave.

She was right, I can't continue to make these mistakes. Not this season. Not with Aliona, Sasha, and Anna all moving up this season. They are my biggest competition. I try to remember that I've won everything and there is nothing else to prove but Eteri thinks differently. She tells me to strive for greatness and that if I can't be 1st then there is no point. I wonder how she can think this way when if there are four of us someone has to be first and the other at least fourth. I now understand what Zhenya faced.