Forever

Life and Death

Chester took the stairs slowly, his mind surprisingly calmer and clearer than it had been for months, and particularly over the past few weeks. The stress of making the decision to have Mike placed in hospice care had weighed on him. He was thinner, and weaker himself, but that was all his own doing and he knew that. Every bit of himself, his love and energy, had been poured into Mike the past weeks. Chester needed Mike to know that he was there still, that he was caring for him and loving him through everything. Through the end. He had struggled to come to terms with the reality that having Mike in hospice truly meant the end was close, but now that was all in the past. His feelings of helplessness, his anger over how unfair it all was, that was gone.

Two weeks ago he hadn't been ready to say goodbye. Two weeks ago he hadn't been able to think of having the kids all home, of seeing the guys, of wrapping up loose ends with his and Mike's legal affairs. Sitting down to go over the power of attorney documents where he'd designated Talinda as the one to make his medical decisions was the only thing that had been easy.

"I just need to know that you'll uphold my wishes, Tal. If you're not willing to do it, I need to find someone who will." Chester looked around the cozy living room and tried to smile. He knew he was asking a lot of his ex-wife, but if there was anyone he could trust, it was Talinda.

"Chester..." Talinda looked up from the document Chester had slid over in front of her on the table. "You know I'll do whatever you want, as long as you're certain." The signature of both Chester's lawyer, a notary, and two witnesses were at the bottom of the page, indicating he was of sound mind when he signed the paper.

Chester reached over and put his arm around his ex-wife, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "It is... don't let anyone do anything different than what's in here, Tal."

Now he was ready. Goodbyes had been said. Chester only had to tell Mike that everything was okay, and then they could leave this life together, for whatever forever had planned for them.

He took the last step into the upstairs landing and looked down the hallway at the doors that lead into the kids' rooms. He thought about the nights when they were all young, and he and Mike had struggled to get everyone in bed on time. He remembered the way the girls had argued over the bathroom in every way teenage girls could find to argue - about products left on the vanity or used by someone they didn't belong to, about showers that were too long and wet towels left on the floor, about hogging the mirrors and leaving hair in the drain. Chester shook his head as memories flooded over him. How they had survived the teenage years with four girls was still a mystery to him.

Now, the house was far too big for Chester and Mike alone on a regular basis, but they had never been able to make themselves downsize. It came in handy on the occasions when they had a lot of the family together, and Mike had been especially reluctant to move from so many decades worth of memories. One day I won't be able to remember these things, he'd told Chester so stubbornly. We don't know how it will go, Ches. Maybe being here, the place we spent our life together, will help me remember.

Now Chester made the walk down the hall, past each room that whispered to him, reminding him of years gone by. Each step brought him closer to Mike, and the decision he'd made downstairs. He mentally scolded himself, not understanding how he hadn't realized why MIke was holding on so hard before. Mike was waiting for him. It took Otis to help him understand what he needed to do.

He pushed the bedroom door open. Hana was gone, and Chester hadn't crossed paths with her yet. She must be in her room, he decided, leaving the door open and crossing to Anna. "Hey," he whispered, touching her shoulder softly. Anna looked up at him, and Chester could see that her eyes were red. "It's okay," he offered, holding his hand out to her.