I'm Glad You Said Hi (Troyler)

I'm Glad You Said Hi (A Troyler oneshot)

*Troye's POV

The minute I stepped off the plane my heart was filled with dread. Scratch that, my heart has been filled with dread for the past 2 months. It didn't use to be like this. I used to get off the plane and be filled with excitement; the butterflies in stomach wouldn't leave me alone, dancing all around reminding that I'm seeing him soon. But now it just feels sad. The man I knew whose heart I knew I was breaking, the man who was breaking my heart, would be coming face to face with me soon. I still loved him, that was for sure. But it was no secret that things have changed between us. Everyone has noticed, they're just pretending like they haven't. 

I walk into the lobby and then I see him. His vibrant blue hair and big glasses standing out from the crowd, that's another reason why I fell from him, he was so easy to pick out from the rest of the crowd.  I felt it again, the butterflies in my stomach; I guess no matter what happens, there will always be a part of them that still gets flustered every time I see him. But then I remember that we haven't spoken in weeks now, besides the quick, formal text messages and tweets. What couple goes weeks without having a meaningful conversation? It didn't used to be like this. 

I remember the day we met; I was so nervous. I remember watching him from across the room (literally right out of a cheesy romance movie) and trying to work up the nerve to talk to him. It took so much courgae for me just to take that first step toward him. And even more courage to take the next. As I got closer I realized he was having a conversation, crap. I can't just interrupt like that, what a terrible first impression. But I can't turn around now, that's awkward. Right when I was really close, about to have a full on meltdown, he turned right toward me with a huge smile on his face. God, his smile. I literally thought I would collapse then, that would've been really bad.                                            

"Oh hey!!" He exclaimed suddenly. He was looking right at me, but I still looked around to make sure he wasn't talking to anyone else. That reaction couldn't have possible been all for me? There was no one else around though, so I just stood there awkwardly, dumbfounded. God Troye, say something you idiot! Now is not the time to choke up!  

"Come! Embrace!" Tyler practically shouted. This really threw me off guard. Embrace? Like hug? Now? With a huge table between us? He started to lean in then, answering my question. Well I guess this really is going to happen. I went in for the hug over the table and I have to say it was one of the most awkwardest experiences of my life but also it was somehow one of the most comfortable. I know that doesn't really make much sense, but I mean what does when it comes to Tyler Oakley?

This moment was sort of like that one. It took so much courage for me to take that first step toward him, and even more with the second step. Even though I've taken this walk to him a thousand times, it felt like this one would never end, like we were a thousand feet apart, and each step I took brought me even further away. By the time I reached him, I swear we were on opposite sides of the world again. 

He looked at me with this bittersweet smile that made my heart melt. But not in the way it used to, it wasn't the excited, huge smile he had when he first met. It was sad. And when my heart melted, it melted because it was sad, because I know that I'm the reason that he's sad. What do we do now? I did what we always did. I took him in for a big hug. He smelled the same, he felt the same. But it somehow it wasn't the same. Nothing felt right between us, just awkward and forced. We broke apart and I tried to look at him in the eye but he wouldn't meet my gaze. He just kept looking down. Does he feel it too? The distance between us? The uncomfortableness of the hug? He must.

He finally looked at me with that same sad smile and his eyes still not quite meeting mine, "We should probably get going. You must be jet lagged."