Putting On A Show

Complicated

How was it that this moment had come so soon?

You had to remind yourself to breathe, because your lungs had completely forgotten how to take in air and you could feel your heart pounding. Sitting here like this had been such a comfortable retreat only a moment ago, but now it was stifling, constricting, and it was inducing a panic.

You could feel your muscles tightening up, ready to make a run for it, even though you hadn't decided exactly what to do at this point. There wasn't too much that you were certain of, only that you needed air, you needed to breathe, and you needed to escape--NOW. You had expected that Alastor's strong arms would never allow for your escape, so it came as a surprise when you were able to jump up and scurry quickly away from him. As you got closer to the door you slid effortlessly into your shoes and as you opened and slid through the door frame, you chanced a look over your shoulder to see him still seated on the couch, of course, his smile never faltered. You would make a hasty escape, it seemed, and he was allowing it for whatever reason, but this was no time to look a gift horse in the mouth.

You made it outside, the cool air hitting the exposed skin on your face and neck felt soothing, and you hadn't run too far when you stopped to breathe for a moment. You could still see the outline of the house through the trees you had run into, but only barely. You sat on a somewhat clear spot on the ground, knees pulled towards your chest. Your gaze never left the modest house you had just vacated, you needed some time alone to sort through what just happened. All of the memories of the last 24 hours started to rush your mind at once, overwhelming you and causing you to hyperventilate. You recognized the tingling in your hands and the burning in your chest as the telltale symptoms and very mindfully started to slow down your breathing, counting eight seconds in, eight seconds out, slowly bringing yourself back down before your panic got the best of you.

It was difficult to understand what just happened, it was only a simple question, so why did it make you panic so much to hear it? Nothing made sense about the situation. You hadn't been in any danger, and now you were stuck here in the wood, outside of town, no way home, and there was no way you were ready to face these two gentlemen who had been nothing but welcoming, incredibly welcoming, you recalled with a deep blush. You knew that it couldn't be later than noon, but since you had left so quickly, you didn't have your phone with you to check the time. You stood up, dusting off the litter from from the forest floor and began the walk back home. You didn't want to be spotted walking along the side of the road because that would be dangerous, even if you were outside of the city limits. You stayed in the overgrowth and kept the road in sight, following it back to town. At least it was only a few miles out. Walking home would probably take a couple of hours at best.

If there was one thing that the time spent walking was good for, it was self-reflection. You had calmed enough and had time to sort through your mind by the time that you could see the outline of your building approaching. You didn't mind walking, usually, but you were most definitely ready to arrive home. Nothing would feel better than that steaming shower and some fresh clothes, you decided. You fished your keys out of your pants pocket, congratulating yourself silently for keeping them on you. When you entered the apartment, everything was just as you had left it, thankfully. You didn't need anymore excitement today. You had realized on the walk home that it must have been that you were just overwhelmed with showing so much of yourself to people that you didn't know through and through, and one of them you still didn't completely trust. Considering your overwhelming fear of showing your vulnerabilities, it was no wonder that you had such a panic attack, although it would be a miracle if either of them wanted to see you again after this morning. Anxiety or no, it had to be considered terribly rude to suddenly jump up and run out of a house in response to being asked a simple question. Perhaps if you had explained your anxiety issues, they could have anticipated or at least understood, but considering that you also didn't like to reveal vulnerabilities, that was a tall order in itself.

As the water began to steam, you climbed in and let it begin to wash over your tired body, allowing the warmth and sweet smell of soap to help you to relax and hopefully undo some of the stress today had brought. Getting back out of the shower, you discovered that you felt suddenly exhausted. Slipping on a clean T shirt and some comfortable sweatpants, you fetched a glass of cool water and made your way to the couch, turning on an old movie, you couldn't remember the name, but it had Danny Kaye and Bing Crosby in it. You'd seen it a million times, it was one of those old musicals from the golden era of Hollywood. It wasn't very long before your eyes were heavy and you were sound asleep on the couch. Had your eyes been open, you might have noticed the darker shadow sliding under the door and up the wall next to it, and unlocking the door.

It was fully dark when you awoke, which was disorienting. You could have sworn that you fell asleep with the television on, but when you looked in that direction it was clearly off. Maybe your had awoken and turned it off at some point, just not remembering it. You sat up, with a long stretch and a yawn, your mind still felt a little muddy, but as time passed things became more clear. You rubbed your eyes, thinking about the two gracious (and don't forget powerful) demons that were probably not terribly happy with you at present. You needed to figure out how you were going to try to explain the situation to them, how you would manage to apologize for your sudden departure. Devil knows if they would accept your apology or even understand the situation that you could barely understand yourself, but you owed them that much. They had been so gracious to you and honestly, they had been more kind to you than pretty much anyone else that you had met while in hell. Yes, you would be sure to get them an apology first thing in the morning. There was no way that you were going to try walking back out there in the dark.

You made a pit stop at the bathroom and then made your way to the bed, ready to fall into it until morning when you noticed something lying in the middle of the bedspread. In the dark it was difficult to make it out, honestly, if not for the blinking light, you wouldn't have seen it at all. Your phone was there on the bed! You knew that it had been left behind, so how was it here now? You ran to the front door, testing to ensure that it was locked, and to your surprise, it was.

How the hell did the phone get here, then? You opened it and saw that there was a text message waiting for you, as well as a few missed calls from a number you didn't know. You opened the text message and quickly skimmed the contents. "Please give us a call when you are ready to talk, we will patiently await." it was signed with a single captial "A", so there was no mistaking who it was from. Should you call now, or should you wait until morning? Although you wanted to call right away, you decided that morning would be better. There was no reason to wake them up if they were sleeping. You had so many questions, not the least of which being how did he manage to get your phone inside without waking you, but it would have to wait. You were too tired right now to try calling and it was late.