I don't really know why I never came out. I know that my parents would accept me. I guess it was just that I just didn't want a reason to stick out. I only really came out to two people and that didn't turn out well.
I guess I first realized I liked girl when I was 11. All the girls in my class were gushing over the new boy who moved here and how cute he was. But I was just thinking about his sister. How her hair flowed down her shoulders. And how her eyes sparkled when talked about her favourite book. She always wore this bracelet that was blue, pink, and purple. Over the next few years we slowly became best friends. One day I asked her what the bracelet meant and that's when my world changed. She introduced me to a whole new world. I find people who were just like me. Girls who liked girls. And girls who like boys and girls. I came out to this girl as bisexual and she hugged me and told me she was proud of me and that moment stayed with me forever. But one day when we were 14 her dad got a new job in a different town and she left. I think that was the first time I felt true heart break. I tried to cram every memory of her away. I dated a different boy every week just to try and make her disappear from my mind. But it never worked.
One day I was thinking about my younger years and I realized who my first crush ever was. Amillia. I never had the nerve to talk to her because she was the prettiest girl in our school. I remember writing love poems about her daily. But then she just left. I was to busy with this other girl that I never realized she left. I wondered what happened to her.
The first day of sophomore year I was walking past the front doors to get to my class when someone caught the corner of my eye. Amillia. She's back. She still had that mysterious look in her eye. God. She was beautiful. But I would never be able to kiss her soft lips. I ran to my next class but I couldn't get Amillia out of my mind.
I finally realized I was never romantically attracted to guys. I was just trying to hold onto my heterosexuality. But seeing Amillia and having her fill my every waking thought changed that.
Amillia and I started getting closer and closer over the next few years and I finally felt like I belonged. She became my best friend but I still longed to kiss her. Just once. She made me feel so comfortable.
One day we were lying under the stars in the snow and I finally had the courage to come out to her. I knew my mom was going to come at 7:00 so I sat up at 6:58. I told Amillia I was gay and than I ran into the car as my mom pulled up.
I guess she didn't want to have anything to do with a "sinner" because over the next few months we grew apart. Until one day my phone pinged.
Come over to my house tomorrow. 7:00
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Nom nom the lesbians are about to come
Short StoryTwo girls find a love with each other - and some fun toys