The pen is a portal at my mind's disposal
But all my thoughts are so awful and all I know I can't stop
An explosion erosion wears away on my thoughts
Because my mind is so coastal and in a rip I am caught
It pulls me in and out, it's what I'm crying about
It ties my heart in knots and I'm so sorry I forgot
Like my hands are shaking and my vision is blurred
I want to hurt you, I'm sorry, God, I know it's absurd
I'm seeing red in the sea, it's not the salt it's only me
Whether I drown or I'm free, you'll still be drowning with me
I drag you down to heaven when I come home at eleven
Can see a thing, it was only a fling, shut up and pass me a drink
Tomorrow morning we'll wake up early without a sign we've been hurting
We'll go to church and say our words and believe we are free
Before I go I just want you to know it wasn't all about you
It was my job my obsession my desires, it's true
I know you probably won't believe me when your blood is on the ceiling
It was my head it wasn't me my mind is sick enough for two
And even while I'm fleeing I still don't know who I am
The only thing I know for certain is that my life isn't chance
The black ink tars my stomach while I write about all this havoc
The red dots from my broken lip reminds me we're tragic
We keep on chewing our lips so that we taste blood in a kiss
I must admit those will be some of the things that I will miss
But don't you worry I'm coming when this word is done writing
I hear the sirens like my angels calling me to stop running
With the kiss of the gun just like one of ours when we were young
A man tells me to stop I smile and
Pull the trigger.
