How to kill yourself, without dying

The start

September 6, 2016
My first day of junior year! I was so excited to be back in school until I locked eyes with this Mysterious boy dressed in all black with chain bracelets an a chain hanging from his pocket where his wallet is, and he had tall black combat boots on. I just brushed it off to the side I wasn't gonna worry about boys this year, I wanted to finish high school already but god was he cute, his name is Ivy ocean blue eyes, jet black curly hair with the whites smile and sweetest voice, I was already falling and I haven't even became his friend yet. But I just knew he would change my life and god did he, he changed more than anyone could have.

~September 24, 2016~
Damn it! I missed my chance with him. He's dating this girl name Nova she's a lot younger than us though maybe that's my problem I'm too old for him? Who knows maybe I'll get over him, the same day I started dating my brother friend didn't last longer than two weeks Nova ended up leaving Ivy for my ex. Weird way that destiny brought us together but I'll take it. Ivy had no clue that I was in love with him.
~November 7, 2016~
The day Ivy asked me out, god I was on cloud nine, I was already so in love with him. He treated me so well everyone was so surprised when we started dating, hell so was I. I didn't even think Ivy would like me I'm definitely not his type and he let that be known with the way his exes looked. He later on told me I wasn't his type that I was his rebound that his fell in love with.
~November 19, 2016~
The day I let ivy take my virginity and I apparently took his too but I don't believe him, the day that happen Ivy became very Possessive over me, I didn't like it but I was too in love with him to care much I thought he'd stop but it only got worse from here.