[ trois ]
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"Dime a donde has ido. Donde esperas en silencio, amigo? Quiero estar contigo."
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I visited the Eiffel Tower today.
There were happy couples everywhere my eyes could see. People promising the earth to their loved ones, a smile on every single one of their faces. And I have to admit I envied them. I know you wouldn't like that, Antoine, you would probably scold me for thinking this way but I was jealous of them and their happiness. Jealous that others get their happily ever after while I stood there in my immense loneliness and misery, awaiting your return.
As I stood there on my own, I remembered when you proposed to me. It was at this, the very symbol that represents our country that you promised a forever in which the two of us could be happy. The ring still clings to my third finger mockingly, mocking me because you left.
I could never bring myself to take it off.
People stared at me while I was there. Hardly anyone goes there alone. The memories of that starry night that feels as though it happened ages ago still haunt me.
And I remembered when you told me that whenever I felt lonely, whenever I felt like you were too far away from me, to look up at the moon. You said that wherever you may be, the sky and the stars would be the same for both our pairs of eyes. We would be standing under the same moon, looking at the same sky. The night would be our accomplice. And then maybe, just maybe, the distance would feel smaller.
You were in Spain then, Antoine.
Now you're in a place much farther than Spain, a place I couldn't reach by train, car, or plane.
The night no longer whispers words of love to me. No. It is now a cold and painful reminder that you left me. And I know you didn't mean to. Despite knowing that I can't help but feel abandoned.
Is it possible for a person to stop being able to function properly without their better half?
That is how I feel.
How I wish I could once again relive those moments that we spent together. My favorite part of the day was waking up next to you. My eyes would open up to see the beauty of your sparkling blue eyes already watching me and a doting smile on your handsome face because that was your habit.
You always were a light sleeper and woke up early in the morning, long before I ever could. I always found it amazing how you could do that despite having stayed up until the early hours of the morning with me watching movies.
Can we go back to that, Antoine?
Please.
I miss you.
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i know its been a while since we posted another chapter. its my fault, this was my chapter to write, only i was really busy with school. still, i'd like to apologize to anyone who's been reading this. please don't stop reading ^.^
anyway, i hope you all enjoy the update.
and happy holidays to everyone this december!
thank you for your support.
i love you.
-clary xx
