Children of Blood ✔️

Chapter Nineteen

The notes seem to slip everywhere, in my bag, cloths and under my sheets. I hid them all in my sweater pocket before Izzy and everyone else came barging through the doors. They keep piling up, I have six now. Their words haunt me and paranoia crawls inside my skull like a millipede.

Dearest Undergrounder,

Time is falling short. You're hours are turning to minutes and those minutes form into seconds.

Make up your mind.

Who will it be? Luke? Or everyone you care for?

Regards,

The Bellator Council

What do I do?

Do I throw Luke back to his mother? Or do I trust my gut and keep him? Lady is threatened by the fact that I have her son, she's bound to do something rash. I roll in my covers and dig my nails into my skull. A rustle comes from the door of the room and I shoot up. My eyes and mind panicked, but it was my coat had fell from the edge of the bed. I lay back down and shudder.

I need to tell someone about this, but I can't. That would show weakness and fear, even though I am comprised of both of those things.

All the letters are the same. They say my time is running out, and the impending threat towards my people and family is approaching. Lady is so desperate for Luke is willing to start a war for him— but I am willing to do the same.

I roll over to stare at Izzy. She's fast asleep, but a soft clueless smile rests on her lips.

She is at risk too, I can't kill anyone else. I can't let people who hold the remains of my broken heart die. I can't be alone, I can't be alone, I can't be alone.

Abruptly I stand up and walk out of the house with a cold sweat, my head growing light and my body numbing. My breath escapes my lungs and I clutch my chest begging for it to breathe.

I can't let them die, all of their lives depend on me. I can't fail my people, my family. They all die if I slip up once.

A weight slowly lowers itself onto my chest and I collapse onto the grass wheezes. Tears crash down my face and I start to shake uncontrollably. I can't breathe or see, my mind made of fuzz. Someone pulls me into their lap and I continue to vibrate, my breath short and my body numb.

They rock me, rubbing my back as I curl into their chest letting a sob tear through my chest. I pull at my sweater like it's plastic wrap around my body.

"Shhhh," he whispers into my ear. "It's okay. Just breathe with me."

I try to match my breath with the rise and fall of his chest. I keep my eyes shut, sitting in the grass on a strangers lap. After what felt like hours of failed attempts to breathe normally, I have gained some control of my lungs. In through my nose, hold, out through my mouth.

"Are you okay Jean?" His voice vibrates huskily. I look up to watch Alaric blink his tears back as he holds me. Pain and familiarity creases his brows together. "Was that your first panic attack?"

I move out of his lap and nod, I don't trust myself to speak yet. Alaric stands up and let's me kneel on the ground while staring past me. I turn to see a few soldiers gawk in a state of worry and shock.

Alaric moves in front of my still shaking body, "Keep moving boys. You still have training to do."

They shuffle away and I turn back to the ground. Breathe in, hold and out. Alaric swings a jacket around me and lifts me up. Breath in, hold and out.