Roommate 18+[Lgbt]

KILLING A FEW MORE WON'T HARM...WILL IT?

⚠️ BE CAREFUL AGAIN IT CAN BE TRIGGERING I REPEAT DON'T READ IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE. IT'S FULL OF SENSITIVE CONTENT, KILLING, BLOOD, TORTURE. IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE DO NOT READ. I REPEAT DO NOT READ.⚠️

I could not stay there. I just could not. I had to walk out from there. No, I had to run away from there. The pain was too much.

The pain was too much to hold up. The past I don't want to believe was very much there still present in my memories.

I should have known not to keep her in the same room if only my mind was not clouded with lust and if only I would have though rationally.

If only I would, if only I would .. but I never fu**ing do. That's the problem I don't do it.

The dreams were not there... I thought they stopped but how wrong I was.. how stupid motherfu**er I was. They came back.. more prominent, more strong, more expressive.

I was an adolescent of 13, I was let out in the street alone, hungry, no place to hide from the rain, sun, snow... just alone with no proper knowledge of how this world work and no proper insight of how money can make people bow down. 

Was out there for one and a half years struggling to be barely alive.

Robbing just to finds some meal, a decent meal to eat for the day.
Finding shelter to escape from them...

There should be guilt. It should be there but there is none...

It is from the last 12 years.

I feel like fading... fading at the bottom of the river no, I feel like drowning at the bottom of hell.

The river is cold and peaceful just like I show, just like I prefer, just like my external character is... cold and peaceful...
but my internal self is burning like hellfire. The self I don't show, the self I don't prefer...

Only prefer when revenge is what I aspire, I crave, I want.

I was not like that with multiple characters. It was simple. I simply wanted to become a librarian. huh, a librarian... A f**king librarian.

The lady took me into her home. Promised food, shelter, and a family. I thought I was her adopted daughter... no, I was her pet, her punching bag, and an ashtray...

I was starved, I was collared, I was dragged, I was wiped.

I was running in the street with a blood-stained hand and a knife tucked in my pants.