[BlaNK-SlAtE]

"...I want to calm down my feelings a bit before jumping into another relationship..." I said to Nathan

"Issac...he really messed me up, all I want is to just calm down a bit..."

"I love you, Danielle...And I...I will give you time, but don't expect me to not want to express my love to you..." Nathan tried to explain to me.

"I won't....All I need is ti--" he began to kiss me, it irritated me to just let him do this to me and cut me off, but I'm so emotionally exhausted, I can't stop him.

He began sticking his tongue in my mouth and rubbing it against mine while cornering me into a wall. He put his rough hands on my waist while kissing and sucking on my neck. Nathan always seemed like he was itching to touch me, feel me...And honestly, since the last time we did this, I was dying for it to relive it. Nathan was now moving him hands down my legs, he grabbed them and carried me over to the bed while I held onto him for dear life. Nathan laid me down gently and lifted up my shirt. It was weird...It was so quick...But felt like a lifetime, I felt like I was underwater and every thing around me slowed up, I had time to see everything around me, the desk in the corner, the ruffled sheets on the bed, the bland brown painted walls. I love you Issac...I mean Nathan...I shouldn't be doing this...If my heart isn't in the right place...

"Wait...Stop...I can't..." I felt him stop, but I couldn't look at him...He loves me too much. "I'm sorry...I...I just can't..." I'm too ashamed to look him in the eye...I can't even look at his face...This atmosphere is slowly killing me...

"I'm gonna go..." I said pulling my shirt down, grabbing my bag and heading out the door. I didn't even look at him, but I gave him enough time to say something to me before I left, but...he didn't say anything, I'm not even sure if he moved.

"I didn't mean for us not to be friends..." ...Ugh! Shut up! Get out of my head! I don't care anymore, you broke my heart so you're getting left behind! I don't want to be your friend! ...I hate your guts...I hope you...No...I can't...I still love him...I...I hope you call me...He probably won't...I called him some harsh stuff...I don't know what's wrong with me, when I get around him or talk to him, I go on a rampage and try to crush his feelings, but like a dog, he keeps coming back. But I know he isn't comjng back now...Lassie fell down the well and isn't coming out. Its been three weeks...

"...Stop it! Just stop trying to get into my life! You've already made your choice! I don't fucking care anymore! Leave me alone! You're making my life miserable! I hate you! And what makes it even worse is that you don't want to listen to a damn single plead of mine! If you keep calling me and coming to my apartment I'm going to call the cops on you, get the fuck out of my face!" I screamed in Issac's face, he looked like he wanted to cry.

"Danielle, I'm just trying to show you that I still care for you and I just want to be your friend...Please..." he pleaded with me. No...You're trying to get in my head again and persuade me to keep you around so that I'm a back up plan if Christina doesn't work out. No, I am not allowing that.

"Shut the fuck up!!! I can't stand you! You're so unbelievably! I feel like punching you in the face right now!" I had to breathe for a second because I know I was getting too worked up...

"...Honestly, get the fuck out of my face, leave me alone, I dont want to see your face around my apartment again." It was complete silence as my words. I could see a tear sneak out of the side of Issac's left eye before he quickly ran out of my door way and down the steps. He didn't want me to see, but he is so obvious.

Why did I do that...I'm only pushing him further into her arms...I can't believe she would do that to me, she probably doesn't love him as much as I do. She's probably using him, I hope she is, I hope they break up soon...No, that's horrible...I hope I'm forever in his heart, I hope he can't forget about me, I hope his love for me slowly eats at his heart until it engulfs it. Two years...you're not forgetting about that.

No...fuck that, I'm tired of feeling things for this damn asshole, he can go to hell for all I care. Go travel the world with that bitch Christina, I'm tired of my feelings going all over the place because he can't leave me the hell alone. As long as I'm concerned, they're both dead to me.

I finally got home to my apartment building, it didn't take me that long, I was walking pretty fast, probably a combination of anger and fear, it was pretty dark. The elevator was out of order so I took the stairs. Even if is was working, I wouldn't take it. Standing in that elevator would ony make my suffication more real. I got a call from Nathan, I slightly hesitated before answering

"Hello..." I said softly into the phone.

"...Hi...I...uh...I'm sorry for...uh....that.." he struggled to say.

"Its alright... I'll make it up to you, because I'm sorry too. Come over and I'll give you some food...Is that cool...?" I asked trying to lighten the mood. He stopped for a while before speaking again.

"...Umm...Okay...I'll call a cab."

"Awesome" I hung up. I walked up to my door to find an envelope attached to it. I took it off and slowly opened it while walking into the apartment. It wrote: "Hey...How's it going? Its me....Issac." I didn't read the rest and just threw it in the trash near my bed, sat down and laid back.