Mate me

Chap 23: not ready

The erosion of smothering alpha pheromones were crushing the poor omega. It felt sticky, clinging to his skin like a second coat. His alphas rough hands were clasped over his stomach, tenderly rubbing circles into his soft flesh. Though he might be asleep the omega was not, his eyes ached from over exhaustion and his mind tired from the overthinking he's been doing. Jimin couldn't stop letting his coiled thoughts boil inside him.

Dreams or in his case nightmares of him becoming pregnant, growing large and plump ready to burst at any moment cruelly kept him awake. He remembers distinctively how it felt being so swollen, how difficult it was walking around to the point he had to practically waddle. His belly looked like a blown up ballon, he's never been so huge but at the same time never felt so beautiful. His skin was almost glowing, hair thick and luscious and his sex drive untameable.

He couldn't lie he liked the feeling of bearing pups, how proudly he felt parading around displaying his miracle. But he also hated the looks he was given by alphas, by hungry wolves who saw the pregnant omega as a sign of something more. He can still recollect the disgusting glares, howls and scents condemned to him as a pregnant omega. It scared him, he's never felt weak before but he did when all his wolf could focus on was his the pups growing inside him. All he cared about was protecting them, keeping them safe and that made him a fragile mess.

Jungkook wasn't the wolf he'd fallen in love with, not in this poisonous scenario he's created inside his head. He instead acted animalistic, rash, unmerciful towards him. Overbearing, over protective and terrifying. The spitting imagine of his father who wouldn't even flinch at beating his omega, show him who's in charge, whose in control and who owns who. Jungkook would behave aggressive, grow angry if an alpha stared at him to long or more importantly his growing stomach. He'd suddenly rip at Jimin's wrist, throw him roughly against the wall and snarl at him with his eyes flared. They shone with something he's never seen, something only from those hellish nights as a terrified child.

For the first time he felt scared by his alpha, scared about what he might do to him and their pup. He'd cradle his stomach in fear he'd strike there first, out of anger or instinct he wouldn't be sure. If he thinks to hard he could almost feel his claws digging into the softness of his neck. The way his hands wrap around his throat choking him until he's gasping, tears cascading down his flushed cheeks like a unplugged river. He felt helpless, weak, pathetic and there was absolutely nothing he could do about because in the end that's exactly what he was.

Tears well in his glazed eyes, he's unable to stop them from drooling down, dripping down his jawline to sprawl out onto his chest. He's not sure why he's crying nor why there's this swell inside his chest like he's in pain. Something inside him hurts, feels as if it's being torn apart. He wants to blame it on his hormones, on the bond they've made but he knows that would be somewhat of a lie. It's something else, a suppressed fear that's only just now beginning to surface. One that's rearing it's ugly head at the gravity of how serious his relationship with his alpha has become. They've mated, bonded and there's only one thing left-pups. For him to bare his alpha children, the pups that will seal his fate.

The assurance in his alpha that this is what he wants-pups is something terrifying to him. It means this is serious, this will take his life down a route he hasn't fully committed to yet. Sure he's always known pups were on the table, something he might want but no way shape or form has he completely decided on. He likes kids, they're fun and cute but he's certainly not ready to bring one home and care for them for the rest of his life. It would destroy any prospects he has for his life, put all the dreams he had on hold as he'll be to occupied with caring for his pup.

Of course he could still achieve his dreams but when would he have time? Jungkook will be busy being an amazing alpha, running a wildly acclaimed business in the sanctuary of his office. Being the alpha that supports them while he's stuck at home day and night with no real life or purpose other than raising their pup and gearing up for the next one he's sure his alpha would want.