Just Another Story

II

Just to be clear, Lulu isn't me. But in a way she is, she is an extention of me, she feels like I feel, and we share experiences. But no, she isn't me.

She ends the moment I start.

Lulu is awake in me, she lives through me, but she isn't me.

Lulu is the one who stares at the ceiling and wonders, about anything in particular, about that night in the middle of September, when she confessed under the flickering lights of the school that she liked her best friend, when in retrospective she didn't. She liked the idea of liking someone, and she liked being liked.
But what ended up happening didn't left her too much choice but keeping the charades, she tried to convice herself that she was in love, and poor little Lulu she had no idea that she didn't have and idea of what love was. She had seen it in movies, she had read about it; when they shared their first kiss she thought to herself "this is what love is". But how could she knew about love when her favorite movies her cheesy romantic dramas where the door had way more space for Leo to survive.
She thought love was violent, and fisically and emotionally exhausting, she thought she had to make sacrifices, like going to the barricades or staring at a distant green light for years without daring herself to even try to get close. Well, thanks to facebook she could try that last one by staring at the online green point. Not quite as romantic but it did the trick.
The love she had learn through time wasn't real love, they used to hit each other because they lacked the patience to try and comprehend who the other person was, fights always ended up the same, with one mad and another one with a blue eye. That was abuse, but neither of those 13 years old knew that back then, and of course, they were in love, and love hurts.

For those wondering, once they were old enough to know better both of them apologized to each other. Lulu had learn to control that previously represed temper, and her significant other said so too.

Who would've thought saying little kids that "If someone hurts you its because they like you" could have repercussions later in life.

For what is worth, Lulu has not hit someone again, nor is she planning to.
She liked to think she is doing much better in those terms, and hopes to never see herself in that kind of relationships ever again.