I'll Always Remember (Percy Jackson)

Chapter One

Percy Jackson

Grief sucks, don't let anyone tell you anything else.

Maybe it's not like how they make it seem on TV. It's not always breaking down crying after you hear about their death, or constantly thinking about them and everything you could've done together that you didn't do.

Sometimes it's a state of shock. It's seeing something that reminds you of them, and then realizing that that thing will never be the same again because they're dead and it was your guy's thing, in a way. And you can't take that sentiment away, try as you might.

I got the call a few months after getting home from the whole Giant War situation. It was a few months when Mom got a call for me, demigod communications being down and all.

They've contained Lee in a coma for a few years now. It was just over two years.

And he died. Without Apollo having powers, he couldn't...

Lee was dead.

Lee, who I visited every Thursday for two years that I was able to, died. His burial would be tonight, and s celebration of life is going to happen this Friday

After Chiron ended the call, I think I just sat there for a while. It was Tuesday.

What a shitty day to lose somebody.

Especially like... We were close, you know? Before he went into a coma. We went to the same school that year and we hung out a lot that year and that summer.

He was my first serious crush, not that I would've ever admitted that. I moved on. He fell into a coma after battle.

And now he's dead.

Which like, it's not like it would never happen but... The hope that he would ever wake up again gave me a purpose to go to camp and to be the leader and do my job.

I always had a purpose, and that was the last one.

Well, there still are my friends as a reason to go. But to be leader... I'm kind of over it. I have been for a while.

But I managed to get myself ready for the burial and went to Camp, where I met up with Grover. With Annabeth in California, I doubt she'd show. Either way, she's been more awkward around me lately. She has a crush on me, which is fine, I don't really care.

But I'm gay. And I told her that a while ago, because she kept trying to make a move and it made me uncomfortable.

Now it's just weird and I'm only really out to her and Grover because I've never been lucky enough to actually have a boyfriend, or a guy who likes me that I also like in return.

I'm kind of stupid with crushes, though, I'll admit that. Lee, Luke, and most logical one I ever had was Beckendorf and he got a girlfriend and died.

It's not like I feel guilty about his death. Not at all. It's not like I refuse to go on boat rides now or anything because it gives me anxiety.

Grover and I shared a hug, though, before walking to the burial site. He was cremated. It's what he always said he wanted if he ever died.

Overall, the burial went fine. I guess it wasn't much of a burial, but the spreading of his ashes. You get the idea.

I had dinner at camp because it was dinner time when the spreading was done anyways, and Grover ate with me, like he usually does. He told me a bit about California. They just got back from that whole situation. Jason's funeral was last month. So as of Nico... I mean, he looked like he was managing. Eating alone, but okay.

Better than with Bianca.

"How are you feeling, man?" Grover asked, sounding a little worried. Which, he bad every right to be. "you've been really quiet. I know you guys were like, close, but..."

I shrugged.

"I mean, okay," I told him, taking another bite of my salad. "Not the best, but considering, I'm okay. I'm just thinking a lot and like... There's this school field trip that we go on in two weeks and I thought it'd be perfectly fine and Paul offered to pay for like half of it and he did and it was super nice and now I don't know..."

"Why? Where is it?"

"It's a cruise throughout like, the Mediterranean." I explained. "it's like a class trip and I signed up a few years ago. But a cruise ship..."

"Percy, your dad is Poseidon."

"I know, I'm not worried about the water," I insisted. "I'm worried about the fact that I haven't been on a ship or boat in any sorts beyond the Argo II ever since Beckendorf died and like... I don't know, after he died, it feels wrong to go on a cruise."

•••

Nico di Angelo

Percy looked all kinds of messed up when he was here. I felt bad for Will because we broke up recently and now Lee died on him, but like, he looked more put together than Percy did. Percy just seemed to be stressed.

No, I don't like him anymore. I'm a dumbass and developed feelings for Leo, who has a girlfriend and is grieving because Jason died a month ago.

That besides the point, though, I was hanging out with Grover after Percy went home. And I asked how Percy was doing because it looked like he could be better. He's seen better days.

Which, Grover agreed that he had.

"He's just... I think a lot of grief is overlapping for him." Grover told me. "So he's still in shock about this but he feels guilty about another death and he's sad about another and accepting others and like... It's just overstimulating him, maybe? He has a field trip in a few weeks on a cruise and he's worried because of Beckendorf's death that he won't be mentally prepared for it."

"He... Because it's on a cruise ship?"

Grover nodded his head.

"Yeah, he said it made him nervous. Anxious."

"But he's Poseidon..."

"Association is a weird thing, Nico."

"I guess," I agreed, now knowing what I'd be doing this weekend while I was staying with my dad.

Am I allowed to? No. But do I really care? No.

We're bringing the dead back to life.