Catch Me [One Direction]

First Impressions

I was late.

So very fucking late. This wouldn’t normally be bad, because, people who know me know I’m late for everything. And I mean everything.  I’m a creature of habit, my main one being able to sleep for at least nine hours, ten if I was lucky. But, would my one direction obsessed sister care about my sleeping habits when I had promised to take her and her friends to her favourite band’s CD signing? The answer is a no. Which is why I’m currently half dressed with my phone pressed to my ear, hoping to God Em doesn’t chew my ear off. Not literally of course, because that would be grouse, and also cannibalism. Which I’m pretty sure my darling little Emily is not.

Unfortunately God really doesn’t like me. “Where the hell are you Savannah!?” was my greeting from the grot bag. And for only being fourteen the girl has a huge set of lungs on her.

“I’m in the car right now!” no I wasn’t, but she didn’t need to know that. “I’m stuck in traffic; I think there’s been an accident or something”

“No you’re not” Em snapped back, her sass and attitude was defiantly not missed on this end of the line.

“Yes I am, would I lie to you Em?”  As a matter of fact yes I would, and have done so many of times in my life.

“Is that a trick question?” She scoffed. Just as I was about to reply three loud knocks echoed against the front door, halting my process of trying to do my make-up one handed.

“Listen Em, I’ve got to go, police cars are coming and I don’t have hands free on, see you as soon as I can get there!” I quickly pressed end call, not giving her a chance to argue back with me.

Another three pounds against the door to my flat, which were very loud and frankly, quite rude, made me hurry over whilst shouting from across the room, “Give me a chance to get to the door you impatient sack of shit!”

Yanking open the door I felt my face drop into one of shock and surprise. My next thought being ‘fuck me’ because there at my door was grot bag, aka Em and her little sidekicks.

“What the fu- I mean hell are you doing here?”

Looking at me with one eyebrow raised, which by the way I taught her to do, she just smirked like little cocky child she is. “I used to live with you remember? You didn’t honestly think I would trust you to get up on time? That’s why I told you to be up an hour before you had to because now were all on time!” she grinned whilst my mouth hung open. “Now get your keys and whatever you need and let’s go see one direction!” she squealed. No joke, her and her little disciples actually fucking squealed.

I so did not have enough sleep for this.

Grabbing my keys of the side I shooed them to the lift grumbling and muttering all the way about how I no longer live with her but she still manages to fuck up my sleeping pattern.

***

Fuck. My. Life.

I want to go home. Right now. Actually, I don’t even care where I go as long as it’s far, far, far away from the screaming teenaged girls, who, if I’m honest, scare me to death. I mean, I thought Em and her friends were freakishly obsessed when in the car they did nothing but sing about boys finding girls beautiful, which is so overrated but annoying catchy, and drawing ‘1D’ onto each other’s cheeks. Like One Direction are going to find that attractive. Not. But no, I was wrong, very wrong. Em and her friends were tame compared to these, no Em didn’t even like one direction compared to these girls.

These girls were scary crazy. Like you’d grab your shit and run if they came anywhere near you, crazy. I mean, there was a group of girls dressed as carrots. Who the fuck dresses up as a carrot!? Not as if the boys are going to look at them and go ‘You are one sexy carrot, be my girlfriend?’ let be serious here. There were also a few leprechauns here and there, trying to get lucky I guess. Get it? Then you had the ‘Mrs Styles’ who can I say are the scariest fans, in the history of mankind.  Within the first ten minutes I had witnessed a cat fight between two groups. It had taken four huge security guards to separate them. They could not however manage to contain their punches and kicks. This was dealt with when the police arrived to escort them off the premises and had ended up cuffing and arresting two of the girls. No lie.  Told you they were crazy.