Chances

2

"Remember the words you told me, love me 'til the day I die
Surrender my everything 'cause you made me believe you're mine
Yeah, you used to call me baby, now you calling me by name
Takes one to know one, yeah
You beat me at my own damn game" I roll over and shut off my alarm "ugh 3am is way to early" I groan laying in bed a few more minutes delaying the inevitable. Finally I drag myself out of bed to start getting ready, which for me is really simple play on my phone, go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, get dressed and head out the door before I'm really late to work, they give us a nine minute grace period but I'm always pushing it.

       Thank God it's lunch time I am so sick of this place, I wish I didn't have to work here, but it pays decent, so I guess beggers can't be choosers. As usual I end up getting fast food even though it makes me sick and I feel like crap the rest of the day, but I'm lazy, I don't get up in enough time to eat breakfast yet alone pack a lunch so I always waste a bunch of money on food that I don't even eat all of and then I feel like shit the rest of the day, but this is my life and I wonder why no guy is interested in me, I think it's pretty obvious. Yeah sure I got big boobs, blue eyes and blonde hair, which everyone tells me is what most guys want, but I'm also overweight even though you can't really tell, yes you can tell I'm bigger but not as much and my knees touch, like literally my legs have their own hour Glass figure and I belch and fart like an old trucker, classy I know, but it's what's on the inside that counts right? That's what they tell me and I hope they are right or I never stand a chance with any guy ever. I sigh and throw the rest of my food away and start heading back into work.

              Finally it's 1:00 which luckily for me means I get to go home, the only perk to getting up at 3am, I get to leave super early which I'm totally okay with. As I drive home I can't help but contemplate how different my life could be and how much I want it to be, but at the same time I know that everything I want or everything that I think I want is so different from what I'm used to and that scares the crap out of me because I don't know how to navigate this, like I'm comfortable with what I know but I'm not happy. But the big question is how far am I willing to go to find my happiness, am I willing to wake up everyday and make the changes I mean after all this is my life and the only one I get so I shouldn't waste it.  They say you get out of life what you put in and I believe that, And yes I'm aware I should have made changes years ago but it's so much easier said than done and truth be told I'm terrified, terrified of the unknown and what could be, terrified of what could go wrong, terrified of what could go right, terrified of what people will say, of what people will think, and most of all I'm terrified of nothing changing and that I'll live this life forever and die alone never having been in love or being loved. And that is my worst fear.

        When I get home I start on my usual list of chores, which is cleaning up the mess that they purposely made and left for me. Dishes left in the sink, spills left on the counter, clean clothes that are now in the dirty clothes just to give me an extra something to do. Stupid stuff to do like clean all the shoes, and reorganize her closet that is in perfect order, just anything to waste my time and make my day miserable. Luckily it doesn't take me too long so I'm done before four and mom and dad won't be home until five or after so that gives me some me time. I think I'll take a bath that should relax me. I start my bath and throw a bath bomb in, it's a pineapple one, which is odd but it was a gift and it's the only one I have.

      "Annie!" I hear Kayla yell walking in the house "ughh" I groan seriously not even five minutes to myself "Annie where are you?" She questions coming up the stairs. I don't want to answer her but it's not like I can really hide "there you are" she says busting into my bathroom before I could answer her "what the hell? Get out!" I yell seeing Max standing behind Kayla staring at me. "But I need to talk to you" "not you, him!" I yell again trying to make sure my body is covered "oh, right... Max could you wait downstairs?" She asks turning to Max "of course dear" he smiles at Kayla and then gives me one last glance "asshole" I mutter. "So" she says turning back to me " we're going on a double date!" She squeals in excitement "no we're not" I almost choke "yes we are and you have no option" "and why don't I have an option?" I question glaring at her "cuz he's kinda sorta downstairs, and the dates gonna be here, I've already got everything set up, all you have to do is get dressed and come downstairs" Kayla rushes out giving me her best puppy dog eyes. "You what?!!" "I said" "no I heard what you said, I just don't believe it" "why not, your my sister and I just want you to be happy, and I know how much you want a boyfriend, so I took the liberty of setting you up" "you're serious?" "Yes" "and what makes you think this is a good idea?" "Well I think he's right up your alley, and he's hot" "we have totally different taste in guys" "I know, but I promise I picked him based on what you like, don't you at least want to see what he looks like?" "Ughh, fine, I'll see what he looks like, but if I'm not into it he leaves, deal?" "Deal!" Kayla squeals "now I'm gonna find you clothes while you get dried off" she tells me as she runs to my room for clothes.