Repress || ogoc

4

"THIS ONE IS FOR THE BOYS WITH THE BOOMING SYSTEM TOP DOWN, AC WITH THE THE COOLER SYSTEM WHEN HE COME UP IN THE CLUB, HE BE BLAZIN' UP" Me, all the boys, and Alissa were blasting Nicki Minaj and screaming the lyrics. My flight to Dallas leaves at 7:45 am tomorrow and Sam and Nate leave the day after for Digitour.

We've been smoking all day and enjoying our last hoorah together. My love for Nicki is everlasting.

Alissa came and wrapped her arm around my shoulder blowing out smoke. "That's the kind of dude I was lookin' for, and yes you'll get slapped if you're lookin' hoe!"

"Guys!" I shouted, "Let's go to the park and blow some shit up!"

"Fucking pyro." Derek scoffed. "Let's do it!"

"Yo, can we talk?" Skate asked poking his head inside from the back door. I nodded and went to the back.

I took his blunt from his mouth and took a hit. "What is it?"

"I feel like we haven't talked about everything that's going on. Like actually talked about it." He pauses taking a hit. "Who am I supposed to talk to while we're separated, you've been my therapist for ten years." He chuckled then scrunched his nose looking down at the grass.

"Nate, you'll have Sammy. It's not like you're going to be alone." I responded.

"Yeah, but that motherfucker can't hold an intellectual conversation like we can."

I threw my legs across his lap on the bench we were sitting on. "Wow bringing out the big words now. Maybe you should go to college." I half-joked.

"Danny," he sighed. "I think this is going to be good for you. You need to get away from everything for once. You're not like me and Sam. You've experienced the world outside of this place, someone like you needs to run sometimes."

"Where's this coming from?" I questioned.

"I notice things, D. I notice when you're not happy because that's my job. It's at the point where I don't know if you're faking your happiness or not and it's really scaring me."

Suddenly I felt my eyes water and started blinking fast to stop myself from crying. My past is a shit show and I hate dragging him with me. "It's not your job," was all I managed to get out.

"Yeahhhh, but it is. I made it my job because I'm not fucking up again. Just promise me you'll try and enjoy yourself. Then after all this over you can go home."

Nate grabbed my hand then finally made eye contact, shooting me a small smile. "Trust me I can't wait till we're all back here." I answered.

"No, Danny. Home. Hawai'i. You don't want to be here any longer and you shouldn't stay because of us. You wanted to go home when your mom and Lisa left last year, don't act like you didn't."

I scoffed, beseeched that I've been living with someone that actually isn't blind. I didn't respond just instead squeezed his hand. He understood.

Later that night, all I could think about was my dad. If he'd seen the type of person I am now I don't know if he'd like it. But I also know he wouldn't like that my mother left me in another state.

My dad gave up his life to be with my mom and have a family with her. When he got stationed in Hawaii, he never thought it'd become his home. He never thought he'd get lung cancer and die, too. My dad gave up his life for Kauai, so why didn't I?

"Deep in thought?" Benny asked as he climbed on the trampoline and lye beside me.

"You know I think I know why I like you so much."