the boys next door

part 23

i got back home and walked in to the sitting room and turned on the tv.i tried to take my mind off her but it was not working. jai walked in and throw a bag of crisped at me and jumped on the sofa.

"how did it go"he said and i did not really want to talk about it.

"okay i told her she can make her own decisions and the doctor said that she would not making it though the operation, so that mean"the hole room went silent and it still had not hit me or jai that we would have to live the rest of are lives with out her.

"how long"jai said as he swallowed the lump in his throat.

"i ,i don't know but i know she will make it" that's what i wanted to believe, that we would wake up tomorrow and everything would be back to normal. i wish i could wake up with rachie next to me sleeping, she is to kind, to genital.i felt tears building so i stood up from the sofa and fixed my beanie.

"okay I'm going to bed"i said and jai nodded.

"um Luke, i know we all want her to get better but you do need to be prepared for if she well you know" i just walked up stairs, i hated when people talked about her dying, i know she is ill but i hated it, just have to have some hope that she might be okay.

I slammed the door and lent agents it breathing heavily keeping in the tears, but i could not stay strong for long and started crying. i had a bad felling in my gut and i had no idea why. i wanted to see rachie right now i did not want to be far from her. i knew that it would not make a difference to her health but i missed her.

i decided if i sleep the quicker the time would go and i would be able to see her sooner. i climbed in between the sheets and just lay there until my eyes got so heavily with tears and worry i drifted off.

i woke up and looked at the time. it was half 12 and i jumped out of bed had a shower and got changed as quick as i could.

"jai I'm going to see rachie"i shouted up stairs but there was no response. i grabbed the flowers off the side and decided to get in the car and drive to the hospital with was a big move because i had not driven since the accident. i got to the hospital and walked up to the desk and a lady smiled at me and i lent agents the side.

"hey I'm hear to see Rachel "

"oh yes i remember you from yesterday um you wanted to see Rachel"she said and moved closer to the screen "um im so sorry" my face lost all it colour and moved closer to the lady

"what do you mean your sorry"i said in confusion

"some, umm someone should have called you about it last night shes, umm she dea"

"NO DON'T SAY THAT SHE CANT BE NO SHE CANT"i shouted and started running down the corridor until i got to her unit and i stood out side her room looking in to see her parents. i pushed open the door and her mother had tears in her eyes and she whipped them when she saw me

"she was asking for you but it was so late"i cant believe what has happened. no she was fine, she was alive yeaster day. all the emotions were running around my head and i wanted to scream. why her why now.

i felt my legs go weak and my eyes burnt with tears. i stood there like a staue not wanting to see her motionless body lying in a hospital bed. she told me she did not want to die here, im such a bad person. i should have been here for her. i could just imagen her taking her last breath as the heart moniter went dead and she was gone. " when did she, was it pain full"i said and she shook her head

" a coulpe of hours ago, i cant believe my baby is gone" the mum said and cryed in to her husband whowas holding in the tears.

"can i have a moment if you would not mind" i said trying to hold in the tears.they nodded and hugged me and left the room. i collapsed in to the chair by her bed. though the tears i could see her small pale body lying with her eyes shut lie less. i just stood there as a tear rolled down my face and hit the floor.this was real, she had acually died. the though made me feel sick. no this was not supost to happen, we were ment to grow old together, and never be appart. i felt my heart brake slightly as i took her hand with was cold with death and i did not know what to say.

" hey,' i managed to say though the tears and the pain 'i know you cant here me but rachie, i love you more than i have ever loved another, you are to kind and beautiful for this world to gentail. you made me a better person, everytime i would lash out or provoc someone you would be there to calm me.i dont know where i would be with out you. " i moved closer to her and whipped my tears

i started speaking in a whisper just so me and her would hear"i know you promised that you would stay strong for me, and i dont mind that you have broken that promise but i can keep this one. that i will never stop loving you, never until we are reuntited. and the vidioes will not be the same with out you, you know, life will not be the same with out you, but you will never be forgoten, i swear, how could i forget you" i smiled as i rembered the times we had together."and i will come and viset you when ever i can and you said you would not be missed, but you will , and i love you rachie never forget it okay, oh god i miss you" i kissed her hand witch was cold as ice and whipped away my tears. i lay her hand back on the bed and looked at her lovingly wanting her to magicly wake up. "i love you"i said again. and put my hand though my hair wanting her to suddenly say it back. i had to look away becouse seeing her like this hurt to much. i did not want to leave but i have to go tell the boys now. i took one last look at her small fragile body, and forced my feet to walk towards the door. i walked out of the room and turned to her perants.

" your dauther loved you very much and im sorry for your loss"her mother hugged me and wispered

"i think she loved you more honey, but we are here for you when ever you need someone. "i knodded and took one last look at her, so badly i wanted to kiss her red lips which were now bleu with cold, but i would never again. i walked down the corridor and out to the car park. i felt so many emptions, sadness anger gref, i did not know what to do. this still felt like a dream, that i would wake up and all would be normal.i drove down to the river by are houses and sat on the pier. i screamed in to the air

"WHY" i shouted and fell to the floor. i cryed for about half an hour until i could ent any more and then walked home. my everything had been taken from me and now i had to tell my family and her bestfriends.

did it make you cry ???? i want some feed back anything like only one comment would be great i want to know if you like the book!!!! also if you message me i will follow you back and also this book is not over yet a couple more chapters left to go!!!!!