APE D'ORO

1. Loneliness.

There's times in your life when you feel lonely; so lonely you're desperate to talk to someone. This type of loneliness is not resolved by simply texting or calling someone you're close to. This type of loneliness is resolved only by talking to someone that you don't know and someone that doesn't know you. I was going through one of those times in my life when I met him. I was searching for someone new to talk to, to help me not feel as lonely for the time being. I was searching for someone to care about me in a different way that made me feel special because they didn't know me. Or maybe this was just me wanting attention. No, this feeling lasted too long for it to just be my need for attention from a stranger; it was loneliness for sure.

It was one of those days where I wanted to talk to someone new, and the only way I knew how was through dating apps. Yes, I used Bumble to find friends because I felt Tinder was more for hookups anyway. So there I was creating an account during the month of Valentines looking for a friend to talk to. Honestly, if it weren't for my friend's influence I don't think I would have created an account because I was scared. It's kind of a normal thing to hear about dating apps leading to stalkers, rape, or even worse, therefore I was paranoid. Or maybe it's not a normal thing to hear and I was just scaring myself, whatever it's stranger danger. But I was lonely willing to take a chance.

The night before the NFL Super Bowl I made my bumble account on the friends only side, but then realized they were only going to show me female locals when I wasn't in search of a female to talk to. I was basically forced to create an account on the dating side of Bumble and I didn't know how to feel. The hours passed slowly and then even slower, so I just decided to add my number to my bio. Bingo. I began getting texts from a lot of strangers and I didn't really feel so lonely anymore. I went through the numbers and asked to see them and I tried to have a conversation, but most of them texted me for the wrong reasons. However, there was one guy who wasn't like the rest of the guys that had texted me. It was him.

When Ellis' text came through, he didn't sound overconfident, self-conscious, or horny at all like the other guys did. A few of the others seemed like nice guys but it was so hard to get a conversation out of them. With Ellis everything was just so easy. I don't quite remember what exactly Ellis said at first but I just got this vibe that he wasn't like anyone I had seen or met on Bumble.

I had asked to see him just to put a face to the name and to make sure I wasn't talking to a creepy older man, until I realized he could still be a creepy older man just catfishing me. What I saw was a young man, not quite a selfie but a picture of his mouth & above with what looked like blue Barbie toy sunglasses because they were so completely tiny as they rested on the bridge of his nose. Dark black hair, straight but also looked a little wavy. Soft dark brown eyes, his lashes weren't long but I noticed that they were dark and striking, with a medium sized nose but it fit his face well. Eyebrows that looked rugged, almost angry but also sweet. No facial hair, smooth as a baby's bottom. And to complete his look, full pink lips with great facial structure hiding underneath his slightly big cheeks. I noticed the potential for his cheekbones to shine because of the angle. The angle was horrible but it wasn't meant to be a picture posted on social media, it was for joking purposes. I liked that he didn't take himself too seriously and that he was willing to send a strange picture like that to a girl he's never met. Not a cringey flexing gym picture or a standard selfie, a dorky picture of himself wearing his sister's doll's sunglasses.

He asked me questions to get to know me, which I'm grateful for because that kept the conversation going instead of it just relying solely on me. However, I was beginning to get annoyed at him because everything he was asking about was on my bumble bio. "I didn't really get a chance to look at all your bio, I just thought you'd be someone good to talk to. A Star Wars fan and all so I got your number but when I went back to swipe right, the app froze," he texted me after I asked if he paid attention to my bio. That prompted the conversation about which Star Wars trilogy was the best, to which I said the original trilogy of course. We had agreed on most things that we had in common up until then. He said he preferred the prequels and I expressed that I strongly disliked them. "There we go, finally something that we don't have in common, it was getting weird for a second," he admitted. I agreed, I was so surprised that I found someone that was so much like me.

We were live texting about the Super Bowl after our introductions and that's when I found out he was a Patriots fan. A major con, or so I thought. See before him I always had bad encounters with patriots fans since most of them are cocky assholes. But Ellis wasn't. He was joking around with me and we had just met. Quickly I got comfortable and started poking fun at him and he loved how I knew football. I just felt like I knew him and I can't really explain the feeling but it was familiar.

That night we were talking about our favorite kind of music and movies, the usual things when getting to know someone. He was listing things that I loved and it got even better when he said he grew up on Disney movies too. Then, I don't know how, but we ended up talking about embarrassing moments from our past and even sent each other semi-embarrassing pictures. When I finally decided to look at the clock it was almost 4 a.m. We didn't know where the time went, each topic of conversation slipped and slid into a different one and it flowed so smoothly for someone I had just met.
"You're just so easy to talk to," Ellis texted me before we went to sleep. I had heard that from so many people in my life but I never understood it until I met him. Because I too, thought he was easy to talk to.