Innocence

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I came by plane,

To this strange city that always rains.

It was mesmerising yet frightening,

I was in no mood to watch the liveliness of spring

As I sat at the back of the taxi feeling lost, wet-faced,

My heart ached

For the lovely cold snow falling from the universe,

And the ear-splitting music created by fireworks.


It wasn't until then that I knew,

How much I miss Chinese beef stew.

It wasn't until then that I was aware,

That happiness was empty without friends' joking glares.

It wasn't until then that I understood,

Why I was slowly drifting into womanhood.

Not anymore the silly little girl,

Who wanted dark curls.


I stared at the dull white bread on my plate,

And thought about rice porridges with dates.

I looked into my teacher's turquoise eyes,

Imagining my friends' rueful cries.

Before my odyssey to a place with no memories,

Only empty space.

I gazed at the ocean adorned with boats

As my thoughts swirled silently in smoke,

And crispy lamb skewers that mother would buy

From the tiny food place every time we passed by.


I never knew how naive I used to be,

Having nothing to worry about, completely carefree.

I never understood the hardships of life,

Until my mother had become a housewife.

I never thought that I would come here

Until I heard the clinking of beers

At our farewell party -

I was China-free.


To this day I still cannot believe

That I didn't see

The true beauty of my home,

Blanketed with memories of comb

On hair and snowflakes

That made my heart ache.

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