Feelings And Thoughts

Random Thoughts!!

What's the point of falling for someone?? You know that you will just get your heart broken...honestly pain is the worst...stick to yourself you have to know you can never trust no one but yourself...when you try to explain how you feel to others they don't understand but some people do...some can actually relate to your problems...it's sad when it comes to  break up yeah I know it hurts with all the depression and all the love you had but that was just completely wasted and you feel lost with out them but it will get better its may take forever but you will get there just always remember "Always Stay Positive And Happy" just be you and start smiling.

Well...honestly I don't know how I feel..what I feel or what I miss like...I don't feel nothing like I feel like I'm just zoned out not feeling nothing not pain not depression not nothing even when it comes to happiness and laughter I don't feel nothing I'm not sad I'm not hurt I'm not nothing...I'm completely numb inside and out like for example if I was stabbed right now I wouldn't feel it...when it comes to people I don't feel nothing between them like talking to another dude trying to gain feelings but I don't feel nothing with anyone I'm just gone and lost and honestly I don't know what to do or how to fix things I'm just stuck being numb.

Break ups are the worst thing you could ever have in your life. My worst fear is being forgotten, being by myself, and hated. So far I fell in love 3 times and I got my heart broken by all 3 of them... 1. His name was Landon he cheated on me 2. His name was Brad we almost lasted a year together and he cheated on me 3. His name was Jamie he was legit the best thing that has ever happened to me I fell harder for this one he had to break up with me by force his dad said if he ever got suspended we would have to break up and he did. I completely lost it he was the only one holding me together he held the last piece of me. I still love him with everything in me I would legit do anything for us to happen again I'm legit lost without him I don't know who I am anymore. My feelings are numb, my heart is numb, and I'm completely broken inside and out. I hate hearing him talking about someone else or even seeing him with someone else even though he isn't with anyone. I honestly don't wan't to be around anyone I just wan't to be left alone I don't wan't to talk to anyone and I don't wan't people even asking me if I'm okay when I'm not okay. I can't help that I fell in love with someone and I'm trying to get over it but I just can't I don't see how he can easily move on like that, it makes me feel like he never had nothing for me.

Ever since my break up I've been looking over on why it happened? and what the problem was...so far guys don't like it when you talk about something they did while you guys were together like for example: When I was suspended he touched another girls behind and he called me and told...he apologized to me, well every time I joke around by fake being mad I tell him to go hit up that girl he touched honestly I didn't know guys would get mad over that...honestly I told him to tell me what he doesn't like and what he does like I wanted him to open up more to me like tell me everything like I did for him...it's called (COMMUNICATION) but he never opened up like if he was mad he would stay quiet and if I knew more than I know now I would've never said nothing.