i need to get out of my head.
i know you'd rather i end up dead.
i can't keep thinking of you like this;
it makes me want to slit my wrists.
yeah that's sad, but i'm getting better.
i just need to get rid of your sweater.
i know i need to try and move on,
but you still have me trapped
even though you're gone.
i attack myself constantly
with what if's and if only's.
i never knew losing you
could make me this lonely.
every good thing i have
i throw out the door.
i cannot fix it,
what do i do it for?
it begs the question;
am i my own enemy?
i am so deeply in love with you
for which there's no remedy.
they say time will heal,
but am i willing to wait?
even when i don't think of you,
i still have that date
seared in my brain.
i'll hide my tears
and cry in the rain.
i don't regret us;
i hope you don't either.
but i'll admit that
it's probably easier
than facing the fact
that we were in love.
no matter how hard we tried
love just wasn't enough.
screwing myself over
seemed to align with destiny.
why am i always
my own worst enemy?
again and again
i lose all empathy
because i am
my own worst enemy.
i lose my mentality,
i lose all sanity,
worst of all i lose you
because
i am my own worst enemy.
~s.h.
