"Why do I have to do this?"
The question is directed to no one but his inner voice shouts several answers. He doesn't want to hurt you. He would never want to but he knows he has to.
After all, it is his own fault.
~
Blood dripped from his arm but no scream emitted from his throat. He kept all his cries in not willing to submit to anyone anymore.
"Are you willing to complete your new mission?" When he doesn't answer, rough hands pull his head up by his hair. He grits his teeth.
"I said, are you willing?" Bucky growls and jerks his head away. "I see, you do not wish to cooperate. I'll have to give you a better motivation, huh?"
He tilts his head slightly, angling it to where he can see the man through his hair. "What are you saying?"
At his words the man smiles deviously. "Maybe you will do as I say if your precious family is involved." Bucky's eyes widen in fear and his hands ball into fists. "There is it: the fire from so long ago. Your new mission begins in an hour."
~
James was never an emotional guy.
He's never cried often.
Certainly not when he thought he lost Steve. Or when he thought he'd die. Nor when he had gotten married to the woman he'd loved so dearly or when he had his first child.
No, he just wasn't like that.
But as he's cradling you, he couldn't help the tears that streamed down his face, not bothering to wipe them away.
"I can't do this." His voice cracks and so does your heart.
You don't utter a word, silently gazing at him. He chants the sentence over and over as if pleading to the universe to protect the two of you eternally. He rocks you back and forth and you bring your hand up to caress his face, pressing your forehead against his. The moment his breath fans your face, you catch the scent of mint and coffee. Gently, you press your lips against his quivering ones. The short seconds feel like eternity to him.
"It's alright, Barnes." He shakes his head rapidly, unable to say a word from his breakdown. "Yes it is."
You reach and intertwine your fingers withe his, rubbing your thumb across the back of his hand.
"Listen to me, your family needs you more than I do. You have a good life ahead of you where as I have none." He continues his silence and you pull away.
"Where are you going?"
The question lingered in the air for some time before you sighed.
"If you're not going to do it then I will."
