romeo & juliet | reddie

.. friends ..

...
"I love you Eddie."
Love.
He loves me?

"I mean it." Richie said softly, his gaze intense, "I really do, Eds."

"Let's go home. I'm tired" Eddie dismissed his friend's words, convincing himself that it was only drunken rambles. They had only kissed a bit, but it didn't mean anything. It couldn't mean anything. Right?

The smaller boy met his friend's eyes once more, but only then did he see the pain behind them. Richie blinked spastically for a moment, as if trying not to cry again. God, he was all over the place. "Okay. Let's go home." He said, stumbling off of the couch.

The two boys disappeared into the darkness, covered by a fine sheet of the night sky. The only light was the pale moonlight, which reflected off the taller boy's mane of curly black hair. Eddie noticed this, and before he could let his gaze linger and his thoughts run rampant, he averted his eyes, staring at his feet as they walked through the woods.

Richie's footsteps were disorganized, as he drunkenly staggered beside his friend. Christ, could he even call him that anymore? Fuck. Did he make it weird? Would he even remember this shit in the morning? Was this constant questioning even worth it? The slender boy pushed away all of his questions and sniffled.

He looked to his side, before noticing all the subtle lines forming on Eddie's face. His eyebrows were furrowed, and his mouth was in a seemingly permanent frown. "Hey, Eddie?" He felt the words falling out of his mouth.

The smaller boy didn't look at him, however his grimace grew. "Hm?" He grunted in response.

"Are you mad at me? I'm sorry if i made it weird for you." Richie said plainly though quietly. It was funny, in a way, when he was sober he was the most obnoxious and vulgar boy Eddie had known. But, a drunken Richie was insecure. Prone to crying and apparently, strong homosexual tendencies. It was as if he was a completely different boy, needing constant validation and reassurance.

Eddie sighed, "Rich, i'm not mad. And I have no reason to be either. I... I kissed you back.", he forced himself to say out loud.

"Did you like it?" Rich heard himself saying. Oh god, maybe he was a blackout drunk. Words were beginning to pour out of his mouth with no filter.

Eddie looked away, the stars shone brightly above them and the night was still and clear. "Yeah. It was nice." He said softly, "Now, lets get you home okay?"

The raven haired boy hummed in response, his tired eyes and heavy body slumped against the younger boy told the whole story. And, if Richie really did mean it. If he did really love Eddie, would anything change? No. Eddie thought, he'd already fell in love with him ages ago.

Ever so softly, at some point, Eddie had fallen deeply in love with his best friend. These little moments, the stolen glances, the lingering touches, they had all slowly changed their relationship. Maybe Richie had been the first to notice, but Eddie was the first to earnestly contemplate it.

The thought that someone could possibly love him; that someone could understand and truely see him, shook Eddie to the core. So many years being taught and coerced into thinking he was unlovable, it seemed to be too much. When you spend so much time believing that noone could ever want you, the second that someone does, it feels like a trick. Something inconceivable in your mind, the thought that someone could love you, completely, honestly.

Eddie was, pardon my french, completely fucked.