Deadly Habitz (EDITING)

Chapter 8: Can't Seem to Cope

DANIELLE

 I called myself trying to complete my assignments in the library, but every now and then, I would lose focus and eavesdrop on some conversations nearby. If I had done my assignments in my room, the amount of work that I managed to get done would've never happen. I would've went to sleep for I don't know how long or gotten high. Don't get me wrong, I can do the work, being that I used to be a straight A student up until the sixth grade. Ever since, I managed to maintain average grades. I just don't have the energy right now. I decided that it would be best for me to put my head down on the table so that I can keep my cool.

Why did I let Steve and Carol talked me into coming here? I knew I shouldn't have gave in.

Three soft taps on my shoulder interrupted my thoughts and I looked up to Rashad with concern dawning on his face.

"Yo, you aight? I saw you was struggling over here," he asked while sitting down.

"Yeah, I'm aight. I just can't seem to focus on my work right now," I answered.

For a moment, we didn't speak. I looked towards one side of the library where there was a group of students quietly studying with each other while Rashad was rubbing the palms of his hands on his lap. I don't know how they can do it with such much noise in here.

"Hey, do you want to go and grab something to eat?" Rashad asked.

"Yeah sure. I need to get up outta here anyways," I answered.

Once I stuffed my things in my bookbag, we made our way towards the dining hall. During our walk, we made small talk about how the weather was going to change next week. There were still a little bit of autumn leaves loosely hanging onto the trees while the rest were scattered on the ground.

When we got to the cafeteria, we put our things on a table by the windows to hold our spot. It was a little crowded being that class just ended fifteen minutes ago and everybody scrambling to get some lunch in their empty stomachs. The cafeteria was big and had different food stations, so Rashad and I splitted up to get the food that we wanted at the moment. I went to the deli section and got a turkey sandwich and some chips since I didn't have much of an appetite. I made it back to the table and while I was waiting for Rashad to come, I slowly ate my chips. Rashad came five minutes later with a cheeseburger and some fries.

"How has your day been going other than being in the library?" he asked before taking his first bite of his cheeseburger.

"It been tiring to be honest. I'm just ready to lay down and call it a day," I said. "How yours been going?"

"Well... first my -"

"Hey Rashad. You still coming to the party tonight?" this random girl asked Rashad as she stop at our table. She caressed his face as he was eating, all while ignoring my presence.

Damn, back up off the man and let him eat his food. This trick gots to be desperate.

"Umm... yea I'll be there," Rashad said after swallowing his food.

"Aight cool. Can't wait to see you there." As the girl was walking away, she gave me a skank eye roll and turned her lip up at me.

"Girl, ain't nobody worrying about your fast ass. Go'n head somewhere with that," I said to her before she turned up her nose at me and walked completely out of the picture.

"Uhh yeah... my bad ," Rashad said to me.

"Next time, keep your hoes on a leash. There won't be anything pretty about them when I get a hold on them."

"Aye look, I have no control over them. They're free to do whatever they please."

"Good, then. Don't say anything when I sock them dead in their face."

From there, the conversation somehow shifted to Rashad's personal life. I had gotten to learn a quite of few things about him. He comes from a middle class two parent household and have a younger brother and sister. He had his heart broken by his high school sweetheart when he found out that she was sleeping with his best friend just days before prom. Ever since that situation happened, he said that he don't see himself being in a relationship anytime soon. Eventually, Rashad got tired about talking about himself and he switched the table on me.

"What do you want to know about me?" I asked him while shifting in my seat.

"Well I don't know... maybe your family?"

"Both of my parents are dead and I live with my second foster parents," I said before directing my attention towards the window.

"Damn... sorry for your loss. My condolences." He took a pause. "When did they died if you don't mind me asking?"

"They died when I was twelve years-old."

That was all I said to him. I tried so hard not to break down in front Rashad, but I couldn't fight it anymore. He noticed that I was getting emotional, which is why he didn't said anything after that. I could tell that he wanted to ask something else, but he decided against it.

"Danielle." He grabbed my hands so that I would look at him. "You know I'm here whenever you need someone to talk to. You can even cry on shoulders if you need to," he said while wiping away the lone teardrop that fell down my face.

"Thanks. I have to go my class now," I said to him, lying about me having to go to class.

"I can walk with you if you want," Rashad said as he was getting up.

"No no, it's okay. I got it. I'll see you around."

Before Rashad could reply, I already dump my food in the garbage and I left the cafeteria. I zip through the crowd of people as I made my way to my room. Once I got there, I quickly unlock the door, hoping that Angela wasn't there. Luckily, she wasn't and I laid face down on the pillow. That's when the tears began to fall down like the rain falling on a window pane. I don't know how long I had been crying, but it seemed like forever and I was getting weary.

This shit hurts so much.