𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚎

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Jungkooks POV:

As I sat in the silent class room I couldn't help but think about all the times with Jimin and the things we had done together. I mean he was my whole world and he just kinda left me and I still don't know why. I'm not all sure of why I deserve this. Everyday I think 'what did I do wrong' or 'maybe he was catching on to my feelings for him and I scared him off.' Then again I can't really help the fact that I think like this- after all No one can blame me for thinking this....it's only been 4 years- okay well when I put it like that it seems as if it was a long time ago but I can't help it. I think about it all the time and sometimes it just gets to me really bad and there's nothing I can do to help it. I know I seem like a whimp but....what Could you really expect?

I remember one time....we had just gotten back from walking to school together and he texted me. He said 'hey Jungkook!! I miss you already 🥺' and we FaceTimed that night until we were both out like a light. I can't help but smile at the small memory. I sware I just almost started to cry but I was some how able to hold it back. After all I am in the middle of class. 

The day before he left.... it was like everything was normal with him. Like he didn't even care...I still think that maybe he didn't know it but that's highly doubtful. 

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"Kookieeeee. Are you gonna eat that?" He asked tilting his head a littel bit and pionted to the chocolate chip cookie that sat on my lunch tray.

I was gonna eat it.

"Nope. You can have it." I said and held out the kookie to his lips. He looked down on it as if he didn't know what to do for a second but then srughed and took a bite from it. I could see how his eyes lit up with joy. I found it cute.

All that day I had been trying to find it in me to tell him that I thought I liked him- and boys in general but I was scared and confused so I didn't end up doing it and sometimes I wonder if I would have gotten the chance to tell him that I had feelings for him then maybe he wouldn't have left me. But then again maybe he was gonna leave no matter what happen.

Later on that night I called him. I was in tears. I just needed to talk to someone about my feels and confusion about boys and things.

He was smiling at first but then it dropped as soon as he seen me crying. I knew he actually cared about me.

"Kookie what's wrong?" He asked as if he would be showing up at school tomorrow to give me a big hug and tell me that it's all gonna be okay and that would always have each other like he normally did. "I can't keep keeping stuff from you" he said and took a deep breath "Minnie I think I like boys" I siad and his smile came right back" oh don't worrie about that kookie! I don't mind that at all." He siad "now stop crying, cheer up, and let's talk." He siad with a proud smile as ice he was glad that I told him and like he had already knew. I wondered how much he knew before all this happened....I wondered how much he had figured out by himself. I think about it a lot if I'm being honest.

I remember the next day I was waiting on our home room for him but he never did end up showing up. It was weird because he really never missed class as if he did then he told me the day before. I wasn't thinking much of it other than maybe he slept in a littel to late today.

I waited for him for another 2 class periods but he was no ware. I started to worrie so I texted him.

Message not delivered

"Huh..." I mumbled. I was so confused.....until it hit me. He blocked me. I asked to use the bathroom in hopes to go in and call his mom or something. She didn't answer. I started to cry- I surprised my self by not sobbing even though it was hard to hold it back.

My next thought was to go to his house on the way home from school witch meant that I would have to take the long way home but I didn't mind it that much. I already knew the way because I had walked it almost everyday just to walk home with Jimin.

I soon approached his house. His moms car was there and that was what really gave me hope. I was thinking that maybe he was just sick and couldn't find his charger. I made so many excuses as to why he wouldn't be at school nor talking to me for no reason. Nothing could prepare me for what would happen next.

I walked up to the door and nocked. It was a minute but soon Jimins mom answered "oh hey sweet heart." He smiled at me. It was like a wave of relief came over me.  "Hey mrs.park" I siad "is Jimin home...?" I asked.

She looked at me as if she didn't know what to say or do. "Did he not tell you love?" She asked and I just shook my head. "Oh sweetie." She pulled me into a hug. "It's not my place to tell you but I know you'll see him soon. Just go home and get some rest." She siad and kissed my head. "Go on now.." she siad and closed the door a bit "have a good night Jungkook..." she siad and with that he door shut.

That wave of relief....yeah that was gone. 

I walked back home and called Jimin so many times but it kept  going to this stupid voice mail thing.  I thought to try with social media. I went to Instagram first. I was hopeful for this one...but nothing.....for any apps. He blocked me on everything.

'What did I do wrong..?' I thought to myself as I walked home but at this point I'm panicking. How was I supposed-

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"JEON JUNGKOOK" the teacher shouted pulling me from my trans. I never knew that I could turn my head so fast until now. "Huh?" I asked and looked around the room. The first thing I seen was that no one was there. It was empty. "The class ended 3 minutes ago.." she said. "Oh..." I mumbled softly "now get out of my class room. I'm ready to go home" she chukled a littel bit. "Okay. Sorry mrs. Anderson." I siad and got my book bag, putting the books in it.

I walked out of the class to be greeted by my friends. Namjoon, Yoongi, mingi, and jisoo. Well...actually jisoo isn't really my friend. She's my girl friend.

Witch brings me to the question of.....what's life like now? Well if you where wondering....Jimin never came back. But it's okay. I'm not gonna say that I'm over that because I'm not and I'm not sure if I ever will be but I guess I'm gonna have to force that on myself. I have good friends. Namjoon is sweeet. He's there for me when I need him and I would consider him my best friend. Yoongi is chill. He's kinda new if I'm being honest but we all like him though you should know not to wake him up when he's sleeping because he will hit you. Mingi is funny...I guess you could call him the class clown. And lastly jisoo....she's pretty...she sweet and has soft brown eyes. The question is....do I love her? I ask myself that a lot but it seems that  I don't have an answer. It's not that I don't like her I'm just not sure if I love her. She means something to me but maybe I just haven't figured that out yet.  Then again I'm not the only one that feels like this. She's been threw something really similar and sometimes I feel like I'm just her rebound....but if I was then why would she still be dateing me? I mean it's been 2 years. I'm not complaining though.

"Hey Jungkook!" Mingi smiles and waves like he always dose. "Hey" I said and opened my locker. "You okay? I seen that you were zoned out in class today" Namjoon said. I noded. I'm such a good liar.

"Still up for milk shakes?" Jisoo asked cutely and tucked a pace of her hair behind her ear. I smiled "yep" I bopped her nose. "Okay then let's go." She said and pulled at my arm. I could tell she was excited. I walked with her to my car and I could see namjoon rolling his eyes at us and mingi smileing and clapping his hands fangirling over us. I chukled and she started to swing our hands..

Authors POV

"He seems off" Yoongi siad looking at namjoon.

"Yeah I know.." mingi added.

Namjoon didn't say much. He knew what was going. He knew why he was sad. Jungkook had told him a ton of times.

"Yeah....I don't by the whole I'm fine thing anymore." Namjoon added just so they didn't start asking any questions about what he knew because god knows if you went to namjoon about it he wouldn't say a word.

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Ⓐ/Ⓝ: hey guys!! I hope you guys like the first chapter!! I'll try to post 2 chapters 2 times a week so that's 4 updates a week!! Thanks for reading! ❤️❤️