When Forever Ends

It's especially cloudy today. It's as if the sky is reflecting your heart. Or whatever is left of it.  Never in a million years would you thought that everything would come to this.  At this point you don't even know where did it go wrong or even what was the problem between you two anymore. 

You've tried, God knows you did.  But at some point, you were just tired.  Of everything.  Of being the only one trying to save the relationship.  It wasn't supposed to be like this, was it? Relationships were supposed to be a two way street, weren't they? You questioned yourself over and over again for the past couple of months.  You began to wonder if the pain, if everything else were worth it.

It 's true, you were just learning what love really was.  You finally understood what those love songs were talking about.  You finally get what they said about how the sun shines brighter, how the world's a better place, how reality is better than any dreams because you are in love.  It was a wonderful feeling to need someone and be needed in return.  To have someone be the reason of your smile and knowing that you are the reason of his.  You thought that loving someone means you are willing to do anything, to sacrifice everything for the happiness of that someone.

It was perfect.  You were each other's first loves.  Yes, both of you gave your hearts to each other.  Risked everything for each other.  Believed that forever was true.

But just when you thought you understood what love really was, everything took a wrong turn.  Was this selfish of you to think that you deserve to be treated better? Was it because you loved yourself more?  If you love someone unconditionally shouldn't you give and give without hoping anything in return?  Was this you running out of love to give him? To be honest you have no idea what love is anymore.  You weren't someone he needed.  You weren't his reason to smile.  At least not anymore.

What you are sure of right now, is that you set your heart to leave.  After moments of doubt and second guessing you decided to leave.  You take a deep breath and pick up your phone. "I don't think it will work out between us anymore.  Thank you for everything and I'm sorry.  Let's break up."  Is what your text to him says.  Some may say this is a cowardly way to break up but you are sure both of you wouldn't be able to hold back the tears if you were to do it any other way.  At some point you both were each other's everything after all.  And then you wait and wait for a reply.  Then finally it comes.  You hold your breath and open the text.  One simple word.  "Fine." 

The moment you were most afraid of has finally come.  It's all over, isn't it?  You can feel your throat burning and your chest pressing.  You didn't think it would be this bad but it is.  You drop down to the floor, clutching your broken heart, crying as the sky does the same.

At this moment it feels like everything is crumbling down.  That forever finally ends.  But somehow you are still sure.  As sure as the sky that slowly clears after every storm.  That you will find and you will start another forever.