Head Vs Heart

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A/N: I don't usually do the author's notes here but I felt like I should mention that this is an AU to season 7B. Enjoy!

Emily's POV:

Pacing around TNS used to be one of my favourite past times, but now it's like a task that looms over my head. I've been avoiding it for so long because I'm worried if I do wonder around, I'll realise everything I've lost. I'm the only member from the A Troupe who won Regionals for the first time in seventeen years and what do I get? Studio Head.

I used to love being Studio Head, I truly did, but then decisions began to be made without me and all of a sudden, it was like I was back on A Troupe. I mean, I was so excited to redeem myself at Nationals with what I thought was going to be the best A Troupe and knowing that I've essentially been downgraded just hurts. There's been times where I've been happy here, but I know it's been a while since that happened. Because since that fateful Nationals, I've never danced again. Of course, I've thought about attempting my iconic leg hold or even just a pirouette, but I've never gained the courage to do it. The only thing I really have done is Michelle's hair flip, but that still looks better on her than me.

Michelle's kept in touch. She's been there for me right since she left. Right now, she's in America looking for auditions and I'm secretly hoping she comes a bit closer to home. I've missed Michelle since she left and I'm not sure how much longer I can take feigning happiness on our phone calls. She's going to catch on at some point, but I'm a little embarrassed to tell her about what's really been going on with me. I'd finally got everything I'd ever dreamt about. Until I didn't.

The studio's energy hasn't been the same since Michelle left. She's always been at TNS since that first winning Regionals. She's always been the centrepiece of the studio whenever I've been there. Michelle always had all the answers to her questions and I'm learning more and more everyday that not everyone gets that. I feel so betrayed by A Troupe. Even Richelle, who I thought would love the idea of being Miss Nationals Soloist, chose Nick and Dance Mania over me. How am I supposed to be okay with what I no longer have? The only person I can even remotely count on just a little bit is Summer. There's Cleo and Jude as well, but they're both a part of B Troupe now and I want the real A Troupe to go to Nationals. When I was on A Troupe, it actually meant something to everyone, now I don't know if it does.

I begin to feel extremely lost in the only place I've ever called home besides my real home and I don't like it. Maybe Michelle leaving was the push I needed to think about my future here. It's got to mean something that I'm the only person who's stayed. Even Miss Kate left. Even Noah left. Even Michelle left. There's nothing I want more than to see Michellle in person. I want her to hug me and tell me it's going to be okay. But in typical Michelle fashion, as soon as we're in a good place with our friendship, she leaves. I sigh, rolling my eyes as I lock up the studio and head out the back way as not to disturb 'The Next Steep.' It still annoys me that I'm banned from there. Still, as I depart from the studio, I'm left with the same question that I've been asking myself since A Troupe chose Dance Mania over Nationals: do I still want to be here?

A/N: Hey guys! Long time no see, I suppose. So I wasn't actually planning on uploading this fanfiction because I had written it before 7B started and I felt like it was too different to what's happening on the show. But then I realised, that's the beauty of fanfiction!

Also I would be super grateful if you wouldn't mind popping over to my other account UnbreakableHeart333 as I'm going to be uploading a teen fiction mystery soon (which will be entered in the Wattys) 🎉

And lastly, thank you so much for all your continued support even when I didn't upload for months. It really means so so so much to me!

Signing off,
FanficMajestic.