Mid-Day Rain.

living room

I'm watching t.v when the doorbell rings. I walk slowly to the door. The weight of every thing dragging me down and holding me back. I open the door open the door with shaky hands.I pull it open to reveal my best friend. Emma she has dark skin and curly hair, he drops what she was holding when she saw me and Threw her arms around me. I only now realize how much of a mess I must look like, shaking, puffy eyes from crying and wearing an uncomfortable suit.

 I savor the moment because a hug is exactly what I need, Being home alone was slowly killing me. She pulls away only to see that I kept crying again despite my self. She leads me to the sofa and sits me down and grabs the ice cream that she dropped. Not one word was said between us, but there was an understanding. A silent comfort that was somehow more meaningful than if she told me"I'm sorry for your loss", another phrase that seemed to follow me. A well-meaning phrase but all it does is remind me of what I lost.She walks in the room with two bowls of ice cream. 

For the first time she speaks "how are you holding up". I'm unsure whether to answer truthfully or lie.I decide to just dodge the question. "Can we just pretend that nothing's wrong for a little bit. Just for a little while"."Sure" she says and sets the ice cream on the coffee table, then throws a throw pillow at me."What was that for" I squeak, as I throw the pillow back at her."Nothing. I just like seeing you surprised" she answers smiling and,Man can she smile."Let's eat this before we turn back to five-year olds.

" If my ice cream spills I will never forgive you!" I say only half joking."Yeah fine whatcha watching?" She says as she sits down next to me. After about thirty minutes of making fun of some reality show. I pause the t.v and turn to her."Sorry to ask this out of the blue, but" I pause halfway through. Thinking that I'd hate for her to see me cry, I need someone to help me, so I have no choice but to. "Could you come to the wake?" I ask sheepishly. "Of course" she say dipping into a slightly more serious tone. 

 "Thank you so-" I get choked up before I can Finnish the sentence this means a hole lot more to me then I thought It did.she doesn't respond but simply grabs my hand and gives silent comfort.I compose myself and finish the thought "thank you so much" smiling."Of course" Emma says sweetly .

 The next week

 The wake was uneventful just some family showed up, and they talked a little bit, I didn't. then had something to eat and went home. My mom died one month ago, I haven't been to school or really out of the house at all. Emma has been over as much as she can,she said that she would be over as soon as school's out I think as I'm getting out of the shower.I glance at the mirror,I'm average height with short gold hair and striking green eyes,well they were as of late they're more like a dead fish's eyes. I head to my room and get dressed.

 I walk in to my room only for my piano to catch my eye,and I start  having a staring contest with it. It's small, about the size of a desk and a little wider.It was a gift from my mom and my mom taught me how to play,since she passed I haven't been able to bring myself to play a single note. I decide to force myself to play,playing piano was my favorite thing to do not to long ago.I start playing, the melody I'm playing is sad and sweet but it's wrong every note I play is wrong ,but not the music the music sounds the way it always had ,perfect, but the feel was off it's hard describe it's like the joy is being sucked out of the music,  it doesn't feel right.between the flurry of notes and chords flowing through my head I see glimpses of my mom playing.I ended it with a B7 and resolve that down to an E minor. my hands are shaking and my breathing heave from trying to not break down.again for the millionth time this month I start crying, only to look at my door to see Emma