Simply Love (A One Direction Fan- Fic)

Me and My Stupid Mouth*

***ALEXS POV*** (Really starting to hate these)

Okay, I feel like a complete idiot now. (Me too babe)  I told you I tried suicide, I told you I was raped, and I told you I was abused, but I didn't tell you my name! (True chiz. I literally forgot to name my character until the 3rd chapter. Aren't I amazing?)  Me and my stupid mouth. (Hahaha, so funny. -.-) Anywhoo (Lame), my name is originally Alexis, but you call me that and you die. I go by Alex. I'm 17. I have short, black hair, dark green eyes, and a pale complexion. Now, if you're satisfied with the details, on with the story! (I'm satisfied with the details, but not with this horrible story.)

The first thought that went through my head when I woke up was "why am I not dead?" (Yes, character. Why aren't you dead? I'm sure I've made it quite clear that I wish you were.) Depressing thought. Second one was " OWWWW!" (That's not a thought, and according to spell check, it's not even a word.) Actually, I'm being a drama queen. It didn't hurt too bad. I've had worse. Third thought? " WHERE AM I!?" That was probably the smartest thought. (Nope, None of them were smart.) Hm, I believe I'm in a hospital. No, duh. If I'm at the hospital then they'll want to know who my parents are. I panicked. Oh, no, no, no. No way in hell am I going back there! What to do, what to do.... Orphan? No, I hate orphanages. I'm never going there. Plan B? Run away. Yeah, I know I'm a coward. Always have, always will. (... No funny comment except I'm experiencing a cringe attack right now.)

A doctor came in an said "You have some visiters." (No, she doesn't. She has VISITORS. Besides, you weren't in front of the door in the last chapter. Where the heck did you come from?)

Wow, rude much? (I know how you feel. When I was in the hospital, a doctor came in and asked what was wrong with me very loudly. That would've been fine if it hadn't been ONE O'CLOCK IN THE FREAKING MORNING. Fortunately for me, I slept through the whole thing. I had to listen to my mother complain about him the next day though.)  Ah, who cares. More important, who'd be visiting me? Not my mom. (But my dear, I thought I was an expert on Britishology! Surely I would've known it was MUM.) Oh, crap! IT'S THE POPO! (Facepalm) Oh no! I'm sorry I drink illegally! (Boring) I'm sorry I smoke! (Cliche) DON'T TAKE ME TO JUVIE! PLEASE NO! (GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF, WOMAN!) My panic session was interupted (INTERRUPTED) when 5 lads poured into my room. (With a splash) Who are they? I looked at their shocked faces and realized I said that aloud. (Yes, because WHO ACTUALLY DOES THAT?!) Oops.

One lad stepped forward and yelled "WE ARE ONE DIRECTION!" (... Stupid carroty Louis)

I winced. Getting run over by a car does give you a massive head ache you know. (Pfft, you would be on so much morphine you wouldn't feel a thing.)  Another lad stepped forth and smacked the loud one in the head. (And here comes the cliche Daddy Direction moment) Woohoo, I'd give him a smack too if my head didn't hurt so much. (Since when did this become Downton Abbey?)

"Lou," he scolded, "can't you see the poor girl had a headache?" (Told ya it was coming.)

The lad smiled at me apologetically, "Sorry love, Louis tends to be a bit loud. I'm Liam by the way."

"You're the lads that ran over me" I blurted. (Um, no. You're the crazy lady that ran in front of their car.)

Oh me and my stupid mouth. (Ah ha. Ha. Ha. Sooooo funny)

He winced. (Why is everybody in pain?)  "That's us. Sorry about that um...."

"Alex" I informed him. (How informative)

A curly headed lad looked up curiously, "your parents named you Alex?" (No, a horrible writer did. Wait, wouldn't it be writeress? No, that's not even a word, apparently. Oh well)