magnetic [ yaoi ]

prologue •

   They always claim that fate is unpredictable. But that it is always certain to happen. My grandmother always used to tell me when I was little that falling in love seals your fate-- but I'm not sure what to make of love exactly. Ever since I was young my parents would tell me I'd fall for a girl and get married some day, like they did-- but this never happened. I tried to be normal my whole life, but I can't help but be drawn to guys instead. Throughout grade school as well as junior high school, I could never understand why other boys fussed over girls so much, while I couldn't help but stare in their direction, but I played along too so I wouldn't feel left out or be bullied for feeling differently. When I reached high school, it was the same as it had always been, but then something changed in me.

   A small factor. A person.

  
   I can't put my finger on what his name was, but this boy changed me. He changed the way I saw everything. I felt my heart erupt whenever he would come around. We weren't even friends-- in fact-- we had never even talked. But I knew that in that moment, I wanted to be the one arm in arm with him and no one else. He was so delicate, charming, and he had a really secretive vibe about him-- he was just my type. He was the reason I can ever say I'd fallen in love. But something about him I couldn't quite place, and something about this boy caused me to lose memories of his name.

Kang Shihyun, 31, never married, never dated, never had sex. Embarrassing right?

   I work as an assistant in a public library on weekends and at a convenience store on weekdays. I live in Daegu, South Korea and my roommate recently left me so now I'm stuck with all the extra expenses that we used to share. His name was Moon Taeihn, not the most frugal bastard, always a bit pushy, but a good roommate nonetheless-- I miss him but I wish him well since he decided to move back to where his parents live and settle down once again.

   I wouldn't call myself crazy frugal either, I'm a sucker for impulse buying and my job is easy for the most part, I just organize books and scan people's library cards on the weekends and for my main work, I run the cash register and stock up a bit and that's pretty self explanatory if you ask me. I don't have many friends at all, in fact, I rarely make time to hang out with others since I'm more introverted. My younger sister visits me from time to time but my parents have passed on. So other than my former roommate and my sister, the only people I talk with are work friends and the bookkeeper at my library.

   My usual day consists of waking up around 7:30 and making a green onion egg omelette and coffee for breakfast, I shower and then leave for work, I then work from 9:00 till 18:00 and if all goes well I can even get off early! When I get home, I kick off my shoes, watch tv for a while and then fix up dinner afterwards. After dinner, I wash up and shower-- then it's bedtime central after stretching a bit for my back. I don't really dream but I often have this lingering thought after waking up, that someone is looking for me, or that I'm not alone in this world.

I get this memory that drives me insane. It's from when I was in high school, and it's about the boy I liked. I often have it appear when I'm able to dream and it's always so real and vivid. Except, I can't remember his name or face, no matter how hard I try to focus on the memory. All I hear is him crying to himself and repeatedly muttering: "I'm sorry, Shikyun, I love you, I wish could say it-- but you aren't here." It pulls at my heartstrings so bad, but no matter what, I can't remember him. Even his voice is a blur after fully waking from this dream.
I must find this boy. He's my fate. We're fated to be with one another. Like the polar opposites of a magnet. We're something like magnetic. If I find him, I won't let him or my memories of him slip away again.