Dear You

Letter #2

Dear You,

When I first met you, I never knew I could love someone as much as I love you. You saved me and you don't even know it. Before I met you, I was the girl who had just been dumped by a guy she spent countless years working on a relationship with. He left me because his friend convinced him I was lying and hiding secrets from him. Secrets that weren't true. And he left for good. He was my best friend. The guy who I thought would be my forever. But he left and you came along. You taught me that he wasn't my forever. And I think that you might be. I sure hope you are. Because you've made me feel happy even when I'm at my lowest point. You taught me a love I didn't know. I feel safe for once. Like nobody can hurt me. Because for once I'm not a savior, I can finally let my guard down and be the vulnerable one for once. I can finally let go and feel everything. Not just pretend to be okay. Because you've taught me it's okay not to be okay. You've taught me so much that I didn't know. I feel like you are my other half, but that scares me. That scares me more than you'll ever know. Because I wanted to die so badly the last time someone left me and I know if you leave, it will be worse. But there's also a part of me that's terrified to be with you forever. I've never had a constant person in my life. Everyone always leaves. Some come back, but most don't. And that's why I'm scared of saying I'll be with you forever. Because there will come a day where you leave me just like everyone else has. So I think I'm constantly preparing myself for that and that's why I sometimes push away from you. Because if I push you away it will hurt less when you leave. So I'm sorry for being broken and afraid.

Sincerely,

Me