Reawakened Fear

Part 1

"Fear is a tricky thing. We have to examine where it comes from, whether or not its irrational, its effects on us and the like." I replied calmly, adjusting my watch slightly. My eyes stayed fixed on the lost soul sitting across from me. Their hands nervously clasped in their lap, eyes staying away from mine, and quick breaths. "That will all come with time. I, for one, know how difficult can be to talk about these things in depth." I tried to sound reassuring, but I knew words wouldn't go far. They never do. "I don't know if I can today." They replied shakily, meeting my gaze for a brief moment. "That's totally okay. We will come back to it when you are ready. There is no rush and no right time. Only when you feel ready." I replied with a smile.

The rest of the session was productive as it could be. I listened intently and gave my thoughts when it was appropriate. My notes reflected that of a normal session, but we both knew it was anything but. They had shared some of their deepest fears. By the end of their statement, they were shaking fiercely. It hadn't been a great many years that I was in the same position they were. This job was rewarding, but sometimes you see yourself reflected so clearly and it chills you to the bone. Today was one of those days. Though the fears were somewhat different, all too many resonated within my very soul.

My drive home was spent in complete silence, which was unusual for me. I always had music playing, even if it was just background noise to keep me focused on the task at hand. I needed to escape my office quickly, knowing tonight would bring back my own demons. The sound of my car on the road was all I needed to keep me focused but my mind was hazy.

The night passed by all too quickly. Dinner was simple, entertainment was just a distraction and with my love working late, I was alone with my thoughts again. The moment my head hit the pillow, I knew the nightmares would start again. What they would hold, however, was a mystery to me. The time grew nearer and I felt my body finally run out of steam. Thankfully, no matter what contents they held, the weekend lay before me giving me time to sort my own head out before returning to my job.