The Girl With A Bad Reputation

Her Exterior

(Panthera Jacques)

The sound of the bell ringing never sounded more heavenly. 

I darted out of the room, unable to bear the stares of everyone that were burning into me. I faintly heard Warren call after me, but I didn't dare stop. Rushing down the stairs before jumping the last few so I reach the nearest exit. I quickly weaved my way through the crowd that was beginning to form, heading towards the bleachers by the football field. Rarely anybody comes out here anymore since football season ended a few months ago. I drop my stuff and let my legs give out from under me.

A history project? Really, Mr. Ackerson? With Warren James, nonetheless? A boy I had a crush on since sophomore year? This is just a recipe for disaster...

Warren would never see me the same way I see him. 

He... he seems so perfect. He's more than just the "Tall, Dark and Handsome" stereotype. He's sweet, friendly, charming...

I felt my heart stutter in a dreamy sigh. I really shouldn't even be entertaining the idea anyway. He has a beautiful girlfriend who seemed to match him perfectly. Plus, she isn't damaged like me. Isn't scarred like me. Isn't marked like me.

I'm known as "The Girl With The Bad Reputation". 

That's all anybody will know me as. I barely have anybody. I'm an outcast within this entire damn school. I softly sniffed.

"Baby girl?" I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard Jackson's voice from above me. He met me on the ground level, bringing me into his arms.

"Shh, it's okay boo. I'm right here," he whispered in my ear. I evened out my breathing and snuggled closer against his chest. The underlings of his woodsy cologne helped relax me. Jackson placed a kiss on my forehead. 

I felt my cheeks grow warm. 

Jackson's and I's relationship is... interesting. 

I would see him around the orphanage we lived in. I had a bit of a crush on him for a long time, but I was painfully shy and very quiet. So he didn't notice me until much later when I caught a football that he and a couple of other boys were playing with. I manage to throw it back with a steady spiral, the ball zooming through the air before landing into his arms. He was impressed, to say the least.

He would see me around and offer to play catch with me. As childish as that may sound, there was no way in hell was I gonna try to play actual football with him. I'm tiny compared to him. So we would throw the football around and just talk. On occasion we would play basketball (much safer) or we just sit outside for hours talking. 

We grew close and we let each other in about our lives.

His mother died while giving birth to him. His dad was hardly in his life so it was left to his dad's short-term girlfriends, his aunts and uncles from both his parents sides to raise him. His dad didn't let him keep his innocence as a child when he was around. Keeping guns around the house, drugs laying around the kitchen, bringing home different women, and so on. He's seen his dad shoot somebody in front of him on their own property. He lost his virginity to a much older woman his dad brought him, as a "birthday gift" when he was 13.

"I couldn't show any kind of weakness around him. Any level of "bitch", as he likes to call it, would've been beaten out of me. I locked up a lot of my emotions when living with him. Even now, it's hard to express much." I remember Jackson telling me a few years ago. It hurt me to see him put up a nonchalant face when I can see the pain and anger in his eyes. 

I didn't know where my sudden boost of confidence came from, but I threw my arms around him, holding him as close as possible. 

He wasn't expecting it, his body was stiff and unresponsive for a few moments. I felt myself flush in embarrassment and tried to pull away. I didn't get far, his arms kept me close and his head dropped into my hair.