She wasn't alright.
She'd told everyone that things were fine, and she was so happy that the war was over. And truth be told, she was happy that she was done with chaos. Her friends could live happily. She'd even been spending time with Rose, fixing up parts on the ships and getting to know her better. Rose had told her that she had feelings for Finn, and Rey couldn't have chosen someone better for him, even if he had been rather distant as of late.
"I'm sure he's just busy," Rey offered half-heartedly. She tried her best to be supportive of her loved ones, but things just weren't the same anymore. Not after that . . .
Nights were hard. Though the Resistance had since been disbanded after the Battle of Exegol and the fall of the First Order, many of the long-time supporters still stuck around each other, and held gatherings, which were more like drunken parties, during most nights to celebrate their freedom.
Finn and Poe, and even sometimes Rose, would join in the celebrations, dragging Rey along with them, much like tonight. But something was different for her this time.
"I'm sorry, I just don't feel up to it tonight. You guys go and have fun, I need to get some rest."
"Come on, Rey," Finn coaxed, but Rey just shook her head. He looked back at Poe dejectedly. The two of them were standing in her doorway with Rose right behind them, standing on her tiptoes to try to look past the shoulders of the two men and see Rey's expression.
It seemed that she had caught enough of it, because her next words were "let's give her some space. She's tired. Besides, there'll be plenty of other times."
Finn and Poe sighed and turned to walk away, and Rose looked back at Rey standing a few feet away, staring a hole into the ground solemnly.
"I hope you get a good rest tonight, Rey," she said, offering her a half-smile.
There was a pause, as if it took Rey a few more seconds to register what she said. The Jedi didn't look back at her, but lifted her head in her direction and nodded. "I'll try my best. Thanks."
Rose took one more backwards glance at her before following swiftly after Finn and Poe.
As the sound of her footsteps retreating faded from Rey's ears, she shut the door and retreated to sit on her bed. She stared blankly at the wall opposite her, and simply breathed for a few moments.
It only took that long for the tears to sting her eyes, anyways. She blinked them back aggressively and stood, walking over to the closet. She slid the partition open and blindly found the item she was looking for with ease. After all, it laid right where she had put it the night before. And the night before that.
A sniffle escaped from her, and she strode back over to the bed, climbed in to it and pulled the covers over herself. She held the dark sweater close, and traced the fabric with her fingers, eventually finding the rough, singed hole she had left in it. All too soon, the tears came back, overflowing this time. Rey didn't even try to hold them back; she knew it was pointless.
"I'm sorry," she whispered to the silence of her room. Before, there would've been a reply, or at least some sort of acknowledgment–a feeling of emotion even–just something. But nothing reached her ears now, nothing except the sound of the quiet sobs that escaped from her own mouth.
A dyad in the Force, he had said. Two that are one. Rey really hadn't understood it when he explained it to her. At the time, she had been more focused on getting off his ship again, but the words had not simply washed over her. And then again when Palpatine had realized how strong their bond was, he took it for himself and manipulated it to serve his purposes. With all that had happened, she'd thought that their bond might have been broken when Palpatine sabotaged it. Her fears had been assuaged when she had felt . . . Ben . . . and his overwhelming happiness at her revival. And when they had embraced too, and his wide-toothed smile.
