An Alternate Solution

Making The Deal

"Good morning, Pine Tree!" an all-too-familiar voice crooned as Dipper pried his eyes open. He immediately squeezed them shut again in the hopes he was hallucinating. There was no way what he saw was real. He WASN'T in some cozy apartment-sized room covered in velvety walls, and there was NO giant fireplace roaring with warmth, and there most CERTAINLY wasn't a certain demonic triangle hovering over him.

Except there was, and there was no avoiding it. He opened his eyes again and made direct eye contact with none other than Bill Cipher. "What do you want from me?"

"What do I want from you?" the demon purred, an amused look in his eye, "Who says I need a reason to chat with my dear friend?"

"We're not friends."

"We're not? Oh, Pine Tree, you've wounded me!" He placed one of his thin hands over his bowtie dramatically.

Dipper crossed his arms and glared.

Bill glared right back for a second before shifting to a more amused expression. "I just figured you'd be nicer to me. After all, I saved your life."
"When? When you used me as a puppet and stuck forks into my arms?!"

The demon laughed. "Ah, that was fun...but no. When you first arrived here, in the nightmare realm. I could've EASILY let you be murdered by any of the beings hanging around here."

"Why didn't you?"

"I wanted to offer you a deal-"

"Absolutely not."

"Oh, come now. At least hear me out. After all, we're-"

"Not so different, you and I. Is that what you were going to tell me? I know cheesy tropes, too. That line never works," Dipper said with a scowl. Bill examined him closely for a minute before sighing.

"Fine. I'll get to the point. When your precious sister betrayed you, she let out someone I have...unfinished business with. If we work together, you can show your sister just how wrong she was when she picked Stanley over you. All I ask in return is assistance tying up loose ends with an old colleague."

"...That picture of you is really lame," Dipper announced, gesturing to the painting of Bill hanging over the fireplace. Dipper refused to give Bill the satisfaction of a response, no matter how reasonable his deal was.

"...I'm going to give you some time to think it over. And when I return, I hope you've reined in your sass," the demon ground out before vanishing with a flourish. Dipper was left alone, which meant he could try to find a way out. Then again, he was dealing with Bill of all people. He was SURE he was being watched from SOMEWHERE...Which meant Dipper was stuck. He decided to think over Bill's deal while he had the time.

On one hand, he DID want to get revenge on Mabel and that liar, but on the other hand, Bill was just as big a liar as Stan, if not worse.

Stan...Dipper sat up straighter as the realization struck him. Bill had referred to him as Stanley, but his name was Stanford! ...Or WAS it? After all, he WAS a con-man. Dipper wouldn't be surprised to learn that Stan had lied about his identity. But why had Bill brought it up? It had to be for a reason...

"Time's up Pine Tree!" Bill reappeared and regarded Dipper curtly. "How are we doing? Still being a little sh-"

"I'll do it."

Bill's eye went from stern to intrigued. "Repeat that?"

"I'll accept your stupid deal. On one condition: you take me out to see what the nightmare realm looks like. Then I'll shake your hand."

I hope this works, Dipper prayed as he made eye contact with the demon that had been taunting him all Summer.

"...fine. But don't even think about escaping. You'd be long dead before you can get anywhere NEAR a portal."

Bill took Dipper out of the ridiculous apartment and out into the nightmare realm. To Dipper, it looked exactly what somewhere called the "nightmare realm" would look like. Terrifying creatures lazed about on the Escher-esque architecture, and strange portals and inexplicable phenomena floated around carelessly. Dipper knew that no matter how casual the things looked, they wouldn't hesitate to kill him in the blink of an eye.

"Nice place you've got here," he muttered.

"Thanks, wise guy," Bill said.

Dipper could tell that the demon's patience was wearing thin. It wouldn't be long before Bill decided that he didn't really need a noodle-armed tween to pull off whatever plan he had, and left Dipper to the nightmare realm beasts.

Next to them was a staircase that went upside down into the air. At the top was a swirling portal. Perfect! Dipper thought with a grin.

"Ok Pine Tree. You've had your look at the scenery. Time to shake on it." Bill held out his thin hand expectantly.

"Right." Dipper took a small step back. "Let me just-" and he took off running up the stairs, praying that Gravity worked differently in this realm. Miraculously, it did, as he easily ran up the stairs, completely upside down. Bill followed after him, yelling something about the ways he would kill Dipper once he got his hands on him.

As Dipper ran upside down, he noticed that the end of the stairs wasn't quite close enough to the portal. Think, Dipper! Think! And then he noticed a being with four heads about ten tounges and a few organs on its outside sleeping on the roof under the stairs. That was it!

"I'm gonna feed you your own organs!" Yelled Bill, close on Dipper's heels. This was it. Dipper reached the last step and leaped into the air, frantically trying to spin around again. He didn't quite reach, so he pushed off the creature's head with his hands instead. It woke up the creature, and it and grabbed at him angrily.

"Sorry, man!" Dipper said as he swam to the portal, slower than he'd like. Almost there! And then he stopped.

"Gotcha!" A certain triangle had him by the shoe.

"Nonono!" Shaking his noodle legs frantically, he managed to slip out of Bill's grasp at the expense of his sneaker, and into the pull of the swirling vortex.

Then he blacked out again.