C A N C E R *Oneshot*

C A N C E R

i don't like hospitals.

the clashing scents of bleach, blood, antiseptics, and vomit. the constant beeping and buzzing of monitors. the drip, drip, dripping of an iv. the worst part is the aura of death.

no matter how much the nurses try to dress it up. no matter how many colored ribbons or "you can do it" stickers they decorate the place with, many, including me, are dying. dying slow, painful deaths.

tears well up in my eyes as i stare at the tiled ceiling of my dark hospital room. i don't bother to brush them away as they burn my eyes. just one of those nights.

i roll over and turn on the lights above my bed. the dim light illuminates the night stand and the items it holds: photographs.

photographs are snapshots, windows into the life that it captures: a moment forever frozen in time. smiles curling lips for eternity, eyes lit up until the end of the universe. pure happiness condensed on a square of picture paper, made to never fade. that's why i cherish and have so many of them.

small nuggets of eternal happiness that highlights the brightest points of life. something to cling to when life stops being so great, and i sure am holding on tight.

one picture holds a beach selfie of me, my parents, and my siblings: maddi, jay, and zack. another was my twenty-first birthday with my friends: josh, chris, and nick.

the third, though it might not be fair to my family and friends, is my favorite.

it's a photo-booth picture strip from my senior prom. all four of the mini-photos held the same two people: my girlfriend, jenna, and i. she wore that stunning red dress that seemed to glow and i was in a cheap rental tux. our love is palpable through the paper and ink that compose the photographs.

"come on, ty, we have to slow dance. it's, like, prom 101," jenna laughs, dragging me into the middle of the school gym aka the dancefloor.

"just prepare yourself for crushed toes. don't say i didn't warn you." in actuality, i had been practicing slow dancing for weeks as to not screw this up.

"my tootsies are gonna be safe, don't worry."

"'tootsies'? didn't know i was dating a grandma."

jenna rolls her eyes at me before resting her hands on my shoulders. i robotically place my hands on her waist. she must have noticed my stiffness and wraps her arms around my neck in a hug-like motion. i reciprocate by crossing my arms behind the small of her back and pulling her closer as we begin to dance.

jenna, like almost every other girl here, had discarded her heels by a gym wall. this makes her seem so small and warm against my chest, a sparkling red dress standing out in the dark room.

she pulls me down by my neck to whisper in my ear.

"i love you, you know that, right?"

"of course. i love you, too." i rest my chin on top of her golden locks and just let us sway with the slow music. as the song nears its end, she looks up at me and leans forward so she is standing on her toes and leaves a gentle kiss on my lips filled with all of the 'i love you's in the world.

back then, we were so young, dumb, and full of love. back then, we had never even heard of small cell lung cancer. back then, we were so happy, and nothing could ever stop that.

i don't notice i'm crying until salty tears caress our unaffected, smiling faces.

one of those nights, i guess.