TANGLED

Not all roads lead home, for nothing is really what it is.
Ever found yourself in a transfixed moment, believe me speechless is far from what I'll call it. Let me walk you down memory lane.

Since my years at the university I had only dated two men,one was a freak and the other well, we would find out in due time.

For Desmond the freak he was the cutest boy in year four and I was quick to date him after few meetings,but after my JJC had calm down in my body,i broke up.

This tale of mine was within the period of my first year second semester "when my head been don calm down small after I hammer second class lower "
as intelligent as I thought i was, well the university humbled me so I decided to be serious with school, I broke up with Desmond and got intimate with my books which lead me to becoming  friends with Alvin one of the most intelligent mathematics student. Well getting serious with my education didn't work out for so long,second year started and I had hit my second class upper so I felt rather comfortable to bother, and then again, love came knocking. My head was  totally in the cloud for Alvin. Alvin was a ray of sunlight in a dark room, a breath of spray and he gave me that feeling of the smell of first rain on soil. We got dating, through thick and thin, grass to grace, most times grasses but we trived till our final year.  Since it is a norm with ladies to once in a while visit their boyfriend's place unannounced, so I decided that today be that day.
I knocked on his door and it opened,i caught myself starring at a well built Chocolate able bodied man, his broad shoulders and seductive pink lips left lingers of taste in my thoughts.
Oh lord! My spirit cried within, such a fine black man.
Alex looks extraordinarily different, like right now,it seems I just saw a completely different Alex, someone who I knew for years now,he totally looked  like my upgraded spec,i wonder why I never noticed him earlier, I would have chosen him over Alvin,with this thought i had to slap my inner thoughts back.

Hi!
Hello!
What's good?
I voiced three salutations in split seconds,he definitely could tell I was nervous,he ushered me in  told me Alvin wasn't home ,and returned to his game, i entered the kitchen to get a drink. The hours I spent in that house talking and drinking,I couldn't stop crushing on my boyfriend's best friend who unusually comes around until I dozed off.It was sunset already and Alvin wasn't back I had no choice than to go, Alex walked me home,it was quite nice walking with him and the weather complimented it.I bid him good bye and got into my room giggling to my self .  Three days passed without Alvin picking his calls, nor replying his text or visiting which was unusual so I decided to check his department, on my way there,I meet him and Alex at the balcony,after exchanging greetings Alex left us "Baby,whats up you are not picking my calls ? "Have I said or done anything wrong"
I haven't finished speaking,when he picked up his bag and stormed out, as I followed him like a lamb to the slaughter house until he finally said ; "could you let me be!" " And never bring your horny legs close to me"
I have never felt that cold even on a rainy day,
His words felt like a double-edged knife piercing through my heart.
His reaction got everyone's attention, my eyes filled with tears, as I stood there dumbfounded hoping the biblical rapture could just happen right away, "of course I knew I wasn't going to be taken" but it would have be better compared to how i was feeling.

Mama am home!
This three words bolted me back to reality.
"You see ? you can be caught up in memories, for they forever linger in your heart.
Time heals but the scares never fades away."
It was at this moment I realised that I have a new life and a daughter, Serena to call mine.
I picked her up in my arms hugged her and gave her a peck ,took her to the kitchen and made her cereals.  Alex was around that evening and he proposed we go to Abuja together with Serena,after much thought i agreed,serena was so excited,few weeks later we left for the country's capital.
On getting to Abuja we moved into the surprised apartment, gosh the house was definitely not what I thought it would be it was double of my imagination,all painted white with gold couches , beautiful and well placed interior equipments. We definitely fell more in love  with the place as days passed.On a blissful friday Alex broke a News from the office that a visitor will be coming over,he sound rather unhappy but I couldn't say maybe it was a bad day at work so I never asked.
I made all type of meal course since I heard the person was coming in from the states,immediately I finished setting the table at six'oclock. "Ding dong"
There goes the bell,i quickly opened the door thinking it was Alex.
Lo and behold I found myself setting eyes upon Alvin. My heart raced at the speed of light, I was confused,i pushed to a corner of the room so he could come in and I turned back swiftly to the kitchen were I could catch my breath,i couldn't help but panic,i had no idea why I was tensed but why would Alex invite him over ? this thought kept resonating in my head.
I heard Serena's voice,talking to Alvin I quickly went outside to call her to order before she says something that would make me more uncomfortable,then I heard Alvin asked "whose child is this ? " Alex replied;  Mara's,I caught the sadness and disgust on Alvin's face,then I Wonder what I ever did to deserve such hatered.
Oh!
why?
Alvin said out loud, are you still friends with Mara? and why is her daughter in your house?
And just before Alex could say a word,
Alex! i exclaimed,
can you come with me to the bedroom,i looked past Alvin like he was nothing but a ghost and stormed into the  bedroom. "Why is he here?
"Why didn't you tell me HE was thre one coming? "Do you even know what you are doing?
He took a deep breath and held my hands "He is my friend and he needs an accommodation for now, so I decided to help"
Then he paused, and when he finally spoke he said
"Do you still love him?
I glared up and just looked at him with an emotionless face ,he then walked out and I followed him to the dinning room where I invited everyone for dinner."Alex,my man sorry I didn't make it to your ceremony Alvin said as he took his seat,i was held up with my new company and all,so how far how Is our wife,and where is she?" or do you have something else to tell me and still i do not get the fact that Mara is present here,
Alex was about to reply, then Serena's voice interrupted him once again "Daddy,can you help me get my Barbie doll it's in the box and Mummy refused to give it to me earlier"
Alex smiled at her "Will be right there Honey"
I heard Alvin drop his cutlery,
"Wait!,you mean she is your wife?!
"C'mon bro,is this all suppose to be a joke?!
"And you actually invited me over?!
"Wait,you broke the bro code ?! You forgot I kept the bro code that's why we are still friends?
"You went behind me to marry my ex girlfriend,this whore?
Hearing those words coming out of Alvin's gutter, i lost it and in a low voice i said, "O my heavenly Father am sorry for what am about doing"
In rage I stormed out of the kitchen walked to Alvin and poured him the glass of watermelon juice I was holding.
"You arrogant asshole never in your life call me a whore"

And you are sitting, letting him call me that? huh Alex?!
"Why didn't you tell him we got married so he wouldn't bring his filthy self here in the first place, you pathetic loser!, i screamed,
While the argument was going Alex couldn't say a word. "Mara,do you really enjoy hurting me?"
After sleeping with my best friend and getting married to him you stand here to call me names?
"You are definitely more than just a"

My reaction to his statement came too fast that he couldn't complete his words, the slap was indeed divine, then I walked to Alex who looked terribly sorry,exactly how he looks when we have an issue especially when his wrong, "I didn't tell him we had sex I only told him"
Same heavenly slap landed on his own cheek too,God I could not believe.
"Babe,i didn't tell him we had sex"
"I only told him you look beautiful when you sleep and I wish I could see it over and over and I told him you were so interesting,just after I told him you came around and he asked what happened when you came"
"I was been sarcastic then,but it didn't mean I actually didn't want you,so when he took it serious I decided not to tell him the truth so I could have my chance with you  that's why I waited till after graduation "
"Am sorry, i guess it was my own definition of love"
I saw Alvin jaws widely open, and when he could finally speak he said,
"So you guys never had sex while we were dating"
"Alex I thought!" oh damn you Alex!  I blanked out at this moment,
Then it dawned on me how twisted my life is, "I got married to a liar who led to destruction of my true love and a public humiliation.
Then I felt someone kneeling in front of me, "Am sorry"
"I did this to you, i didn't give audience to you when he said all those things, I didn't allow you defend yourself i actually came back hoping I could look for you to talk things through and take you with me to California"

And once again i became speechless  I lacked the words to respond I sat on the floor looking at both men who were both angels and demons,
when Alvin dragged Alex up and pounced on him severally, Alex got back to his feet as well and also threw his own portion of punches.
I sat down with tears rolling down watching the internal drama i had within me being physically practiced.
I made way to Serena's room,
while i cried for my torn heart.