𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧' 𝐆𝐮𝐲 ➺ 𝐵𝓇𝒾𝒶𝓃 𝑀𝒶𝓎 & 𝒬𝓊𝑒𝑒𝓃

(22) 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘦𝘵 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘦, 𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘥 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥

A/N

I can only apologise for how short this part is - it is a filler chapter.

I do promise, however, that this story has a lot in store and I just encourage you to stick around and you will not be disappointed!

I love you all, thank you for your continued support!

//

I know you're supposed to be quiet in libraries. I promise, I'm fully aware.

But when you're drowning in your own tears, head in your best friend's lap, it's a bit difficult to not make those disgusting fucking noises. I struggled to regain my breath, the pattern becoming irregular as Emma's hand stroked my back.

"You'll be okay, you're always okay in the end."

I sat back up, hair sticking to my cheeks from the tears that had fallen for the previous half an hour. I knew my face was flushed red and my mascara was slowly but surely smudging out around my eyes. I sniffled, looking at Emma in the eyes.

"This is not going to be okay, it's never okay. You're not there when shit kicks off." I whined shakily, my hands trembling in my lap. I leaned back, taking a deep breath the best I could. I closed my eyes, my mind racing and creating different images in my head that made me panicked so much more. I hated feeling like this; there was nothing worse than hating the thought of seeing your own family.

Emma went quiet, her hand on my knee faltering. I heard some mumbling through my clouded emotions before another hand on my shoulder took me by surprise.

I looked up to see Brian stood behind the sofa in the library, some books in his hand and a concerned look on his face. I could see in my upside-down vision that he was wearing his regular tight, white shirt with a black blazer over it, a scarf hanging from his neck. And when he rushed round to sit next to me, my eyes fell on his black flares. Seeing Brian and that familiar sight of his fashion comforted me, and I knew I was safe. As soon as he sat down, I shuffled closer to him, the tears once again starting to fall. I leaned into him, his arms instantly wrapping around me, pulling me into his embrace.

"What's wrong, love?" Brian asked me softly, one of his hands coming up to the back of my head, gently stroking my hair.

"Let her calm down first, Brian, she can hardly talk." Emma said, Roger sitting down next to her. But I didn't really have the energy to dwell over their situation, as I was trying to control my own panic attack.

"I can speak for m-myself, thank y-you, Emma!" I practically screamed into Brian's chest, the words not articulating in a way that made any sense at all.

"This is a quiet public space!" I heard the whisper-shout from the librarian, sedentary at her desk, eyes boring into me judgementally. I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, for fuck's sake, shut up." I responded a bit too loudly, but despite the furious look on the librarian's face, I was just met with a hush from Brian, his hand pressing into the back of my head harder, his arms wrapping round me tighter. He began to rock me back and forth, his chin coming to rest on top of my head. I was soaking Brian's shirt with my tears at this point and I couldn't help but feel bad for ruining his outfit – he looked so good. So, I pulled away slightly, lifting my head so that my forehead was now the only thing pressing against him.

I lifted one of my shaking hands up to his wrist, pulling it down to interlace my fingers with his, his calloused skin smooth against mine. After I regained my breath enough to form a coherent sentence, I looked up at him, his hazel eyes full of concern.

"My mum wants me to go up North for Christmas." Repeating it again hurt even more than it did when it came from my mum herself.

I couldn't unsee the confusion on Brian's face, so I clarified. "I don't like it back home. It's always so fucking miserable and so... Not what Christmas is supposed to be. And I love Christmas." The last sentence came out as a kind of whine, sighing in defeat and looking down. "My family doesn't even do Christmas properly; they buy all this fancy food that normal people just don't eat. It's just a reminder that my family have all this money and never share any of it with me even though I'm their daughter." My sadness turned into sour anger, squeezing Brian's hand with the emotion.