why is life so cruel? we have to deal with people who treat you like shit. you get your back turned on you and you get betrayed. you can't wait to grow up but you dread the next day of your life. wondering if you are going to get raped again or if the bullies at school are going to bully you again or if you are going to get abused by your brother again. you always feel like you can't escape, because at the time you know you won't ever be able to escape. people say they can or will help you but they end up turning their backs on you. pretty soon you realize you can't trust anyone and one by one your walls come up. you shut yourself into a prison inside your head. making sure no one can get in so you don't hurt like you did the others, so they can't hurt you like so many others before them have. you think no one can break through your "impenetrable" wall and then someone comes along and cons you into trusting believing and trusting in them and then it happens they break your heart by beating you half to death. slowly you manage to put your walls back up only this time there are more walls, so many more walls. pretty soon you are just a shell of a person doing what you have to do to survive, going and praying that the next day is better than three last. only doing what you have to do until your time comes, putting you out of your misery of living your life over and over again every day. finally no one can take you. no one can abuse you. no one can build you. because you arnt there anymore they is only the faint memory of the girl next door living in a geek every day of her life.
